Your Choice Part 2

(Please note: The hi-lited passages provide links to the sites and Scriptures referenced)

Yesterday I felt led to write an entry on Forgiveness and about choosing your path that you would go down post-divorce. I wrote this because, like anything I write, it is something that I personally struggle with and that God is teaching me.
I want to clarify that the struggle to forgive those who have hurt us is a daily battle that we fight. But first we have to recognize, as I pointed out in yesterday's post, that there IS a battle.
If I ever doubted that there was a battle, then I only need to read God's Word to know that this battle is real and that there is a daily fight for my thoughts and my relationship with God.
1 Peter 5:8-9 (Amplified) says, "Be well balanced (temperate, sober of mind), be vigilant and cautious at all times; for that enemy of yours, the devil, roams around like a lion roaring [in fierce hunger], seeking someone to seize upon and devour. Withstand him; be firm in faith [against his onset--rooted, established, strong, immovable, and determined], knowing that the same (identical) sufferings are appointed to your brotherhood (the whole body of Christians) throughout the world."
When I was writing yesterday, I was not saying that if you choose the path of life and obedience, then you will be "super-spiritual" and never have thoughts of anger or bitterness. You WILL have these thoughts! Satan will tempt you by provoking you. He will tempt you with anything he can to try to lure you away from the Eden-relationship that God desires to have with you through His Son. Like he did with Adam and Eve, the enemy will say things like "Now, do you think that's REALLY what God meant?" or "surely this ONE time it's okay to do it your way...you 'deserve' to do what you think is right!" (Gen 3:1). He is slowly, craftily luring you away from Your Father, the Shepherd. The enemy wants to "scatter the flock" and separate us from our Shepherd because he knows the Shepherd loves us, protects us, and lays down His life for us (John 10:11-15). The enemy has come "to steal, and to kill, and to destroy..." and to prevent you from the "abundant life" that God has for you (John 10:10). So, these thoughts and suggestions will come and, in our flesh, we will want to retreat to our anger and bitterness. The battle begins when we are given the choice of what we will DO with these thoughts after they arrive.
Satan knows of God, from his own wicked personal experience, that "God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin" (1 John 1:5-7).
Satan also knows that God's Word says "Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness. Whoever loves his brother lives in the light, and there is nothing in him to make him stumble. But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness; he does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded him" (1 John 2:9-11).

As I already said, I am writing about this because I am experiencing it first hand and I am learning it day by day. I am learning that forgiveness is a DAILY battle for my thoughts. It is one, though, that I am willing to fight because I want that "fellowship with Him...walking in the light..." and I do NOT want Satan to trick me into blindly wandering away from that fellowship. I am willing to do anything I can, even if that means I let go of all bitterness and anger that I feel "entitled to", so that nothing will hinder my relationship and fellowship with My Father. Ephesians 4:30-31 says, "...Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice." That makes it pretty clear to me that if I want to walk in the light, in perfect fellowship with My Father, I HAVE to do a daily clean-up and submit my thoughts back to God's control instead of to my flesh.
This is NOT an easy thing to do. It completely goes against what our flesh wants. It takes sacrifice, which is never "fun." Sacrifice involves death, pain, brokenness - none of which sounds easy or light. It takes laying down those feelings on God's altar and saying here, Lord, take this from me. I don't want it anymore. Burn it up on your altar; I give it to you. Romans 12:1-2 says "I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."

So when I allow my thoughts to be transformed by the Spirit and when I undertake this daily renewal of my mind, does this mean that I am best friends with the person who has hurt me and that I am "in fellowship" with him and I think of him with fondness as "my brother"? No, it does not - not according to the world's definition at least. Some people may be able to have such a relationship that is publicly open and trusting with those who have formerly hurt or betrayed them but often, especially when dealing with an addict, this relationship is simply not realistic.

What it DOES mean is that I am willing to submit my thoughts about this person who has hurt me to God and let GOD deal with those emotions instead of battling them in my flesh. Just this morning, Satan dropped one of his little "surprise packages" at my door (how ironic in light of the fact that I just wrote on forgiveness last night! Coincidence? hardly!) There was a situation before me where, in all my flesh, I was perfectly "justified" in harboring anger, bitterness, unforgiveness with someone. There were words spoken that I could have chosen to replay over and over and over in my head, mulling over them, letting them soak in like poison and eat away at my joy, my peace, and, ultimately, my communion with God. But, by the grace of God the Spirit in me recognized these words as "fiery darts" from the enemy. Though the words came from the mouth of FP, they were designed by the enemy to "steal...destroy...kill."
Ephesians 6:12-13 says, "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood (your "battle" is NOT against the person who has hurt you!) but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms (Your "battle" is with SATAN, who is attacking you by using means of this world). Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand."
This morning, when I was attacked by thoughts that could have given way to bitterness and anger, I wanted to make SURE that I had "done everything...to stand [my] ground." This meant that instead of dwelling on those thoughts, I had to immediately "take them captive" (2 Cor 10:5) and I had to immediately "transform...renew my mind" (Rom 12:2).
2 Corinthians 2:10-11 says "...What I have forgiven...I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his [Satan's] schemes."
This morning, when confronted with controversy, I had to recognize the attack as not from FP, the person, but from the enemy (not of flesh and blood, but spirit) and recognize that he [Satan] was doing this to steal my joy, to deceive me, to lure me away from My Shepherd. I had to pray for my thoughts and I had to pray for FP (Rom 12:14). This is only done by God's grace and with His help. Again, I am not the expert on this, I am just another student of the Spirit, like you, learning each day by His grace! I pray for you and for me that we will learn more about this each day, so that we can have His peace instead of anger, love instead of anger, joy instead of depression, freedom instead of bitterness.
2 Timothy 2:22-27 "Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will."
Lord, I want to renew and transform my thoughts right now and line them up in obedience to your will. I want to get rid of all of this bitterness, anger, rage. Lord, this person who has set out to attack and hurt me has sinned against you and you alone and I give their sin back to you and remove myself from this situation. I forgive them Lord for they do not know what they are doing. They are held captive by the enemy and I pray for their release. I pray that you would bless them Lord with your healing and restoration. I pray that they would know your love and your perfect will and that they will not be blinded by the world. Lord, fill my heart with your peace, your joy, your love. Take my thoughts captive and let me only dwell on what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy (Phil 4:8). Help me to see the world as YOU see it and not through my own eyes. Show me if there is anything in my heart that remains to be cleansed so that I can continue in perfect fellowship with you, through the blood of your Son. In Jesus' Name, Amen.