Sticks and Stones Part 2

So, if we are not supposed to “engage” in any more battle with those who verbally attack us, either to our faces or behind our backs, then what CAN we do when we are hit with their false accusations, their lies that they continue to spread about, their manipulation?

First, consider the source – John 8:44 says that “[Satan] is a liar and the father of all lies.” Yes, that person has set out to hurt you but more importantly, they are being used by Satan to hurt you. Satan is “the accuser of the brethren” (Rev 12:10). Why is Satan accusing us? Because we are a threat to him and he wants to break us down and incapacitate us from carrying out God’s work. Ephesians 6:12 says: “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”
Spiritual warfare is real and those who “accuse the brethren” are being used! This is another thing to consider when you are choosing your own words against someone who has hurt you. Satan loves to use believers against other believers in his “war” – don’t let him use you to further his favorite sport!

Second, remember that when we fight the battle, we do not fight it as the world fights it – When you pray and ask God for wisdom in dealing with your hurt, be prepared that He MIGHT just tell you to deal with it in a way that does not make sense according to how the “world” tells you to deal with it. 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 says, “For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world..." Ephesians 6:13-18 says, “Therefore put on the full armor of God...take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one..." And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests...” Remember, from yesterday's post, that those “flaming arrows of the evil one” can be those deceitful words, aimed straight at you, intended to knock you off of your feet.

But I am not Jesus(!!), one might argue at this point. I cannot keep from fighting back with those who have hurt me! I will tell you that if you truly want to be silent, I have been through this situation where vicious lies were being spread about me and about my family and God gave me the strength to keep my mouth SHUT and I thank Him constantly that He did so. Knowing what all was in my head and my heart at the time these lies were first being spread, I would have said something I know I would have regretted. Those lies are still being spread today but I have already seen the fruit of keeping my mouth shut and so I will continue to pray that He will help me keep it shut when it needs to be shut and give me the words to say when something needs to be said. If you ask Him to close your mouth as He closed the mouths of the lions in Daniel’s den, you can trust me that He will close your mouth. In Psalm 39:1, David says “I will watch my ways and keep my tongue from sin; I will put a muzzle on my mouth as long as the wicked are in my presence." You can literally pray “Lord, put a muzzle on my mouth! Keep my tongue from evil!” He said to me over and over “Be still, and know that I am God” and Romans 12:17-19 “Do not repay anyone evil for evil... Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay,"says the Lord.” Through His Holy Spirit, you DO have the power to keep your mouth shut and not take matters into your own hands. “With God all things are possible” (Matt 19:26). In 1 Corinthians 2:16, we are told that we have been given “the mind of Christ.” If you are a believer, you are entitled to this gift from God, the mind of Christ. Claim it and use it to His glory!

Third, if you definitely feel that you are supposed to open your mouth and say something, please do so PRAYERFULLY! God will give you the words to say and when to say them if you ask Him to do so. You can pray “Lord, help me keep my mouth shut when it needs to be shut and Lord give me the words to say when I need to say them!” You can pray from Psalm 49:3 “Lord, let my mouth speak words of wisdom; let the utterance from my heart give understanding.” You can pray from Isaiah 50:4 that the Lord would give you an instructed tongue, to know what words to say. Above all, remember the old saying that “the toothpaste cannot be put back in the tube.” Once you say something, it is out there. Remember that your words bring life or they bring death. Be a life-giver.

Fourth, we trust the end result to GOD, not to ourselves. I’m not saying that we never address the lies and say that they are lies. I am talking about not turning around and taking the matter into our own hands by trying to hurt or “repay” the liar(s). To shrug your shoulders and simply say of the lies - “That is not true. That is absolutely false. ” and then leave it at that with no retaliation is a step of faith and I believe that God will honor that faith. By forgiving the person who has spoken against you and trusting GOD to deal with the liar and not trying to deal with this person (or group) yourself, you are showing God that you trust Him more than you trust yourself and you know that His ways really are better than your ways! (Is 55:8). In short, you do it because God tells you to and because your idea of “justice” can in no way compare to His true justice. Also, remember the principle of sowing and reaping! That person who is sowing discord and hate will only reap more discord and hate. But if YOU, on your end, sow forgiveness and peace and refuse to sow further discord, you will reap the benefits of forgiveness and restoration in your own, other relationships.

But if I don’t retaliate, how will others know that the lies are not true? Again, I am not suggesting that you never let others know that what is being said is false. Unfortunately, however, there are some people who you could talk to until you are blue in the face and they will still believe the liar. Often, when dealing with people who are so attached to the liar, you only make yourself look worse by trying to undo the damage of the liar. Proverbs 17:28 says “Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.” Proverbs 9:7 says, "Whoever corrects a mocker invites insult; whoever rebukes a wicked man incurs abuse.” Sometimes the more we defend ourselves and talk against the other person who is lying, the more our actions backfire against us. In Revelations 12 when Satan accuses the brethren with his lies, we are told that the innocent “overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony.” 1 Peter 2:12 and 15 says “Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us…For it is God's will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish men.”

We may never get to verbally defend ourselves here on earth but, as Hebrews 11:1 says, we live by faith and not by sight. We know by faith in God’s word that there will come a day when all darkness will come into the light and when the motives of men's hearts will be exposed(1 Cor 4:5). Part of our faith is believing that all of this foolishness on the earth will one day be reconciled not by ourselves, but by God. “[We are] aliens and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them” (Heb 11:13-16). One day “Every knee will bow [before God]…Every tongue will confess to God” (Romans 14:11). Maybe, just maybe, you will be on your knees next to that person who lied about you and next to those who believed the liar. And, as we are all there, on our knees unable to stand in the presence of Almighty God, I promise you that the Truth WILL be known!

Thank you Lord that you will silence the tongues of those who lie (Psalm 63:11) and that what others intend for evil you can use for good to redeem those who are innocent (Gen 50:20). Lord, no weapon formed against me will prosper (Isaiah 54:17) and I will not be afraid because these weapons that have been formed against me will NOT prosper! You are more powerful than the lies. Thank you, Lord that you give wisdom generously to those who seek it (James 1:5). I ask you now for wisdom in how to deal with those who have hurt me. First, I pray that you would lead me into forgiveness for this person even though they have hurt me (Luke 6:27-42). I cannot do your will until I have forgiven this person (Matthew 18:21-25). Lord, teach me and help me know what to say and when to say it and help me know when to be silent (Is 50:4). Lord, shut my mouth when I am to be silent. I will not be anxious about these lies but through faith I will praise you and your sovereignty and I will allow your peace, which transcends all understanding, to guard my heart and my mind in Christ Jesus (Phil 4:7).