Marking a Bizarre Milestone

(Note: All of the hi-lited passages are links to the appropriate sites or Scriptures).

One interesting thing I have noticed with divorce is that the "milestones" you end up making in your life and your new family are not quite the milestones you pictured when walking down the aisle all dressed in white. When all is "normal", you think of milestones as : Our first date! Our first kiss! Our first anniversary! etc., etc. Of course "normal" milestones with your children would be : The first tooth! His first steps! Her first words! and so on.
Well, with divorce, this all tends to get a bit strange but it can be kind of "fun" when you learn to laugh about it (which, if you are like me, may take a few years!)
Here are some of my own post-divorce "milestones" (and yes, I can even tell you dates and times sadly enough) :
The first decision I made without questioning my own judgment 100 times (a co-dependent after-effect of life involved with an addict, as many of you can unfortunately relate)!
The first time I stood up for myself on the phone with FP and did not let myself be "blamed" for his addiction and poor choices! The first time I slept a full night without Ambien! The first time I wired my own "home theater" system including dvd, digital box, and surround audio set-up by myself! The first time I re-arranged my whole house (and moved a 400 pound antique armoire) with just myself and a girl-friend and NO BOYS! The first friends' wedding I made it through without crying or chickening out beforehand! The first infant baptism I made it through without crying when the pastor talked about the joy of being "a covenant family", The first Mother's Day I made it through without crying, The first "family Holiday" I made it through without crying! The first time I made it over a month without crying! The first time I realized and felt, down to my toes, the Truth and romance of God as my Husband! The first time God freed me from all depression and anxiety about my divorce!
And then...well...I had another milestone today - THE FIRST TIME I HAVE EVER FORGOTTEN TO SHOW UP AT MY COUNSELING APPOINTMENT!!! WOO HOOOOOOOO! Okay, so, this may seem like a very strange "milestone" but it was actually my very wise, Spirit-led counselor who helped me to see it as a milestone. There I was, standing at work, when my cell phone rang and it was my counselor's office. When I answered, the secretary said "We were just wondering if you were close to the office or not..." and it hit me that I had COMPLETELY forgotten that I had a 1:30 appointment! And I NEVER, NEVER forget my counseling appointments! I apologized profusely and got so flustered that I actually hung up on the secretary. A few minutes later, I called back and she was laughing and put me through to my counselor. I apologized about 50 times to my counselor and this wise, Godly woman said "STOP apologizing; I am so happy for you! This is a huge milestone! We need to celebrate!" I was of course very confused for a minute and then she explained: "When we first started meeting (about a couple of years ago), you used to LIVE for these appointments and you structured everything around us getting together. You never would have forgotten an appointment. The fact that you forgot today tells me that you are healthy, doing well, and you don't 'need' me like you used to. That's awesome!" And you know what? She was exactly right! Praise God! When I first started seeing her, I was meeting with her 2 times each week. Then, slowly, we moved to once a week, then once every other week, then once every 3 weeks, and then once a month. And now, as we discussed on the phone today, I am finally heading toward "graduation!" This is part of my "Joy In The Morning" (Ps 30) that God has brought to me! It is all part of the healing, the joy restored, the scales falling off! Thank you Lord that you ARE The Healer, The Restorer, and You ARE The God of Amazing Milestones (Num 10:10, Josh 4:7, Is 56:5, Zech 6:14, 1 Sam 7:12)! Lord, help us to always remember our "milestones" so that we, like your children in the past, can also say "Thus far the Lord has brought me"!
Praise God that when I look over my list above, these are such AWESOME milestones for me! I had even forgotten some of these until I started writing them down (and there are so many more not written that I must remember). God was showing me, while I was writing, how far He has brought me. Thank you Lord!
These milestones are there for you too. Start looking for them. Start recording them. Remember that "This I call to mind and therefore I have hope and expectation: Because of the LORD's great love and mercy we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness Lord" (Lam 3:22-23)
Don't you want to have hope too? Then, like Jeremiah did, "call to mind" the Lord's mercies and "love notes" He sends to you each day. Write them down. Make a memorial. And then you, too, will be able to look back and say "Praise God! THUS FAR the Lord has brought me!!!"