(Note: The Hi-lited passages provide links to the sites or Scriptures referenced)
Hebrews 11:13-16 reads:
All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.
One night, I was praying about the divorce and saying "WHY? Why did this happen Lord?" and the Lord gave this verse above to me. When I read this verse, I was overwhelmed with a peace that could only have come from The Spirit. I think that giving me this verse was His way of saying "I have something better for you, daughter...Trust in me." Isn't is strange how we know that things were bad, we know that something was wrong and that our marriage(s) were not the way God intended it to be, and yet it was all we knew so we look back to "Egypt" and think we were better off there, starving and dying? But God says to us - You can go back to that world if you want to - you can return to "Egypt" if that is what you really desire - BUT - if you are willing to walk by faith and not by sight, if you are willing to hold on and pass through the desert with me, walk through the waters with me, brave the storm, then I will lead you out of this season into something better. Hold on. Let me raise you up and deliver you because I HAVE prepared something better for you - let's go there together!
I have said many times that I know now that as hard as divorce has been, I am not going back to Egypt - I am going to keep stepping forward with my Lord, knowing that He has prepared a place for me and that it is a place of blessing, honor and favor. I am His precious child and He WILL provide for me! Amen!
Lord, I trust in You and You alone. You are El Shaddai - God all mighty who is all sufficient, who nourishes, who supplies, and who satisfies. Lord, you are Jehovah Jireh, my Provider, and your grace is sufficient for me (Gen 22:14, 2 Cor 12:9). Lord, I trust in you that YOU ARE MY DELIVERER (2 Sam 22:2, Ps 18:2, Ps 50:15, 40:17, 70:5).
Lord, "for those who suffer You deliver in their suffering; You speak to them in their affliction.
You woo them to you from the jaws of distress, to a spacious place free from restriction, to the comfort of your table laden with choice food" (from Job 36:15-16).
Thank You, Lord, that I have been delivered from a life of distress, of bondage, of pain, of slavery. Forgive me Lord that like the children of Israel, there are times I think it would be better to enter back into those times of slavery than to walk into the NEW country you have prepared for me (Num 14:2-4). Lord, I believe that YOU determine the times set for me and the exact places where I will live (Acts 17:26) and I know that You alone can heal me and that NO ONE can deliver me from Your Hand (Deut 32:39). I will walk with you, Lord, and trust in Your plan for me - a plan to PROSPER me and to bring GOOD to me, plans for HOPE and a FUTURE - in Jesus name, Amen!!!!
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Friday, August 29, 2008
A Nugget To Chew On From RT Kendall
(Note: The hi-lited passages are links to the appropriate sites or Scriptures)
Right now I am reading Total Forgiveness - again - GREAT BOOK!! One of "my women" who had been through similar circumstances and helped carry me through the beginning of my journey told me that I "had" to buy it and I thank God that I did. It has been one of those "life-changing" books.
Anyway, I was reading it tonight and this little nugget was just too good to not pass on -
RT Kendall writes:
"What is an enemy? It is a person who either wants to harm you or who would say something about you so as to call your credibility or integrity into question. They would rejoice at your downfall or your lack of success. They would not pray that God would bless you and prosper you but instead they would sincerely hope that God would bring you down...
An enemy is also a person who will take unfair advantage of you; they will "despitefully use you" (Matt 5:44). They will walk all over you. If they know you place vengeance in God's hands rather than your own...they will exploit it all the more - knowing you will not retaliate..."
"An enemy will often persecute you. The Greek word for "persecute" simply means "to follow" or "to pursue". Enemies will pursue you, because they are obsessed with you...
The persecutor's main tactic is to discredit you. They will speak badly about you...tell your friends about any indiscretions they may perceive in your life; they will go out of their way to keep you from succeeding and from being admired...[They] don't kill with the sword or a gun; they do it with the tongue or the pen."
And here is the "Kicker":
"When you know that a person is obsessed with you and is out to discredit you, you are very, very blessed indeed. This doesn't happen to everyone. You are chosen, for behind your enemy is the hand of God. God has raised up your enemy - possibly just for you! King Saul's pursuit of David was the best thing that could have happened to David at the time. It was a part- a most vital part- of David's preparation to be king...God was ensuring that when the day came for him to wear the crown, he would be ready...God did David a very special favor. He raised up Saul to keep him on his toes, to teach him to be sensitive to the Spirit (1 Sam 24:5), and to teach him total forgiveness. Saul was David's passport to greater anointing..."
"If you have a real, relentless, genuine enemy - someone who is not a figment of your anxiety or imagination - then you should see yourself as sitting on a mine of twenty-four carat gold...If you have been blessed in this way, thank God every time you [think of this person]. Your enemy, should you handle him or her correctly, could turn out to be the best thing [spiritually] that ever happened to you" (!!!!)
Wow. Now that's ONE perspective. I just thought that was really interesting and wanted to pass it on. Any thoughts?
Matthew 5:11-12 "Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven..."
Right now I am reading Total Forgiveness - again - GREAT BOOK!! One of "my women" who had been through similar circumstances and helped carry me through the beginning of my journey told me that I "had" to buy it and I thank God that I did. It has been one of those "life-changing" books.
Anyway, I was reading it tonight and this little nugget was just too good to not pass on -
RT Kendall writes:
"What is an enemy? It is a person who either wants to harm you or who would say something about you so as to call your credibility or integrity into question. They would rejoice at your downfall or your lack of success. They would not pray that God would bless you and prosper you but instead they would sincerely hope that God would bring you down...
An enemy is also a person who will take unfair advantage of you; they will "despitefully use you" (Matt 5:44). They will walk all over you. If they know you place vengeance in God's hands rather than your own...they will exploit it all the more - knowing you will not retaliate..."
"An enemy will often persecute you. The Greek word for "persecute" simply means "to follow" or "to pursue". Enemies will pursue you, because they are obsessed with you...
The persecutor's main tactic is to discredit you. They will speak badly about you...tell your friends about any indiscretions they may perceive in your life; they will go out of their way to keep you from succeeding and from being admired...[They] don't kill with the sword or a gun; they do it with the tongue or the pen."
And here is the "Kicker":
"When you know that a person is obsessed with you and is out to discredit you, you are very, very blessed indeed. This doesn't happen to everyone. You are chosen, for behind your enemy is the hand of God. God has raised up your enemy - possibly just for you! King Saul's pursuit of David was the best thing that could have happened to David at the time. It was a part- a most vital part- of David's preparation to be king...God was ensuring that when the day came for him to wear the crown, he would be ready...God did David a very special favor. He raised up Saul to keep him on his toes, to teach him to be sensitive to the Spirit (1 Sam 24:5), and to teach him total forgiveness. Saul was David's passport to greater anointing..."
"If you have a real, relentless, genuine enemy - someone who is not a figment of your anxiety or imagination - then you should see yourself as sitting on a mine of twenty-four carat gold...If you have been blessed in this way, thank God every time you [think of this person]. Your enemy, should you handle him or her correctly, could turn out to be the best thing [spiritually] that ever happened to you" (!!!!)
Wow. Now that's ONE perspective. I just thought that was really interesting and wanted to pass it on. Any thoughts?
Matthew 5:11-12 "Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven..."
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Sticks and Stones Part 2
So, if we are not supposed to “engage” in any more battle with those who verbally attack us, either to our faces or behind our backs, then what CAN we do when we are hit with their false accusations, their lies that they continue to spread about, their manipulation?
First, consider the source – John 8:44 says that “[Satan] is a liar and the father of all lies.” Yes, that person has set out to hurt you but more importantly, they are being used by Satan to hurt you. Satan is “the accuser of the brethren” (Rev 12:10). Why is Satan accusing us? Because we are a threat to him and he wants to break us down and incapacitate us from carrying out God’s work. Ephesians 6:12 says: “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”
Spiritual warfare is real and those who “accuse the brethren” are being used! This is another thing to consider when you are choosing your own words against someone who has hurt you. Satan loves to use believers against other believers in his “war” – don’t let him use you to further his favorite sport!
Second, remember that when we fight the battle, we do not fight it as the world fights it – When you pray and ask God for wisdom in dealing with your hurt, be prepared that He MIGHT just tell you to deal with it in a way that does not make sense according to how the “world” tells you to deal with it. 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 says, “For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world..." Ephesians 6:13-18 says, “Therefore put on the full armor of God...take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one..." And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests...” Remember, from yesterday's post, that those “flaming arrows of the evil one” can be those deceitful words, aimed straight at you, intended to knock you off of your feet.
But I am not Jesus(!!), one might argue at this point. I cannot keep from fighting back with those who have hurt me! I will tell you that if you truly want to be silent, I have been through this situation where vicious lies were being spread about me and about my family and God gave me the strength to keep my mouth SHUT and I thank Him constantly that He did so. Knowing what all was in my head and my heart at the time these lies were first being spread, I would have said something I know I would have regretted. Those lies are still being spread today but I have already seen the fruit of keeping my mouth shut and so I will continue to pray that He will help me keep it shut when it needs to be shut and give me the words to say when something needs to be said. If you ask Him to close your mouth as He closed the mouths of the lions in Daniel’s den, you can trust me that He will close your mouth. In Psalm 39:1, David says “I will watch my ways and keep my tongue from sin; I will put a muzzle on my mouth as long as the wicked are in my presence." You can literally pray “Lord, put a muzzle on my mouth! Keep my tongue from evil!” He said to me over and over “Be still, and know that I am God” and Romans 12:17-19 “Do not repay anyone evil for evil... Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay,"says the Lord.” Through His Holy Spirit, you DO have the power to keep your mouth shut and not take matters into your own hands. “With God all things are possible” (Matt 19:26). In 1 Corinthians 2:16, we are told that we have been given “the mind of Christ.” If you are a believer, you are entitled to this gift from God, the mind of Christ. Claim it and use it to His glory!
Third, if you definitely feel that you are supposed to open your mouth and say something, please do so PRAYERFULLY! God will give you the words to say and when to say them if you ask Him to do so. You can pray “Lord, help me keep my mouth shut when it needs to be shut and Lord give me the words to say when I need to say them!” You can pray from Psalm 49:3 “Lord, let my mouth speak words of wisdom; let the utterance from my heart give understanding.” You can pray from Isaiah 50:4 that the Lord would give you an instructed tongue, to know what words to say. Above all, remember the old saying that “the toothpaste cannot be put back in the tube.” Once you say something, it is out there. Remember that your words bring life or they bring death. Be a life-giver.
Fourth, we trust the end result to GOD, not to ourselves. I’m not saying that we never address the lies and say that they are lies. I am talking about not turning around and taking the matter into our own hands by trying to hurt or “repay” the liar(s). To shrug your shoulders and simply say of the lies - “That is not true. That is absolutely false. ” and then leave it at that with no retaliation is a step of faith and I believe that God will honor that faith. By forgiving the person who has spoken against you and trusting GOD to deal with the liar and not trying to deal with this person (or group) yourself, you are showing God that you trust Him more than you trust yourself and you know that His ways really are better than your ways! (Is 55:8). In short, you do it because God tells you to and because your idea of “justice” can in no way compare to His true justice. Also, remember the principle of sowing and reaping! That person who is sowing discord and hate will only reap more discord and hate. But if YOU, on your end, sow forgiveness and peace and refuse to sow further discord, you will reap the benefits of forgiveness and restoration in your own, other relationships.
But if I don’t retaliate, how will others know that the lies are not true? Again, I am not suggesting that you never let others know that what is being said is false. Unfortunately, however, there are some people who you could talk to until you are blue in the face and they will still believe the liar. Often, when dealing with people who are so attached to the liar, you only make yourself look worse by trying to undo the damage of the liar. Proverbs 17:28 says “Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.” Proverbs 9:7 says, "Whoever corrects a mocker invites insult; whoever rebukes a wicked man incurs abuse.” Sometimes the more we defend ourselves and talk against the other person who is lying, the more our actions backfire against us. In Revelations 12 when Satan accuses the brethren with his lies, we are told that the innocent “overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony.” 1 Peter 2:12 and 15 says “Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us…For it is God's will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish men.”
We may never get to verbally defend ourselves here on earth but, as Hebrews 11:1 says, we live by faith and not by sight. We know by faith in God’s word that there will come a day when all darkness will come into the light and when the motives of men's hearts will be exposed(1 Cor 4:5). Part of our faith is believing that all of this foolishness on the earth will one day be reconciled not by ourselves, but by God. “[We are] aliens and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them” (Heb 11:13-16). One day “Every knee will bow [before God]…Every tongue will confess to God” (Romans 14:11). Maybe, just maybe, you will be on your knees next to that person who lied about you and next to those who believed the liar. And, as we are all there, on our knees unable to stand in the presence of Almighty God, I promise you that the Truth WILL be known!
Thank you Lord that you will silence the tongues of those who lie (Psalm 63:11) and that what others intend for evil you can use for good to redeem those who are innocent (Gen 50:20). Lord, no weapon formed against me will prosper (Isaiah 54:17) and I will not be afraid because these weapons that have been formed against me will NOT prosper! You are more powerful than the lies. Thank you, Lord that you give wisdom generously to those who seek it (James 1:5). I ask you now for wisdom in how to deal with those who have hurt me. First, I pray that you would lead me into forgiveness for this person even though they have hurt me (Luke 6:27-42). I cannot do your will until I have forgiven this person (Matthew 18:21-25). Lord, teach me and help me know what to say and when to say it and help me know when to be silent (Is 50:4). Lord, shut my mouth when I am to be silent. I will not be anxious about these lies but through faith I will praise you and your sovereignty and I will allow your peace, which transcends all understanding, to guard my heart and my mind in Christ Jesus (Phil 4:7).
First, consider the source – John 8:44 says that “[Satan] is a liar and the father of all lies.” Yes, that person has set out to hurt you but more importantly, they are being used by Satan to hurt you. Satan is “the accuser of the brethren” (Rev 12:10). Why is Satan accusing us? Because we are a threat to him and he wants to break us down and incapacitate us from carrying out God’s work. Ephesians 6:12 says: “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”
Spiritual warfare is real and those who “accuse the brethren” are being used! This is another thing to consider when you are choosing your own words against someone who has hurt you. Satan loves to use believers against other believers in his “war” – don’t let him use you to further his favorite sport!
Second, remember that when we fight the battle, we do not fight it as the world fights it – When you pray and ask God for wisdom in dealing with your hurt, be prepared that He MIGHT just tell you to deal with it in a way that does not make sense according to how the “world” tells you to deal with it. 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 says, “For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world..." Ephesians 6:13-18 says, “Therefore put on the full armor of God...take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one..." And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests...” Remember, from yesterday's post, that those “flaming arrows of the evil one” can be those deceitful words, aimed straight at you, intended to knock you off of your feet.
But I am not Jesus(!!), one might argue at this point. I cannot keep from fighting back with those who have hurt me! I will tell you that if you truly want to be silent, I have been through this situation where vicious lies were being spread about me and about my family and God gave me the strength to keep my mouth SHUT and I thank Him constantly that He did so. Knowing what all was in my head and my heart at the time these lies were first being spread, I would have said something I know I would have regretted. Those lies are still being spread today but I have already seen the fruit of keeping my mouth shut and so I will continue to pray that He will help me keep it shut when it needs to be shut and give me the words to say when something needs to be said. If you ask Him to close your mouth as He closed the mouths of the lions in Daniel’s den, you can trust me that He will close your mouth. In Psalm 39:1, David says “I will watch my ways and keep my tongue from sin; I will put a muzzle on my mouth as long as the wicked are in my presence." You can literally pray “Lord, put a muzzle on my mouth! Keep my tongue from evil!” He said to me over and over “Be still, and know that I am God” and Romans 12:17-19 “Do not repay anyone evil for evil... Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay,"says the Lord.” Through His Holy Spirit, you DO have the power to keep your mouth shut and not take matters into your own hands. “With God all things are possible” (Matt 19:26). In 1 Corinthians 2:16, we are told that we have been given “the mind of Christ.” If you are a believer, you are entitled to this gift from God, the mind of Christ. Claim it and use it to His glory!
Third, if you definitely feel that you are supposed to open your mouth and say something, please do so PRAYERFULLY! God will give you the words to say and when to say them if you ask Him to do so. You can pray “Lord, help me keep my mouth shut when it needs to be shut and Lord give me the words to say when I need to say them!” You can pray from Psalm 49:3 “Lord, let my mouth speak words of wisdom; let the utterance from my heart give understanding.” You can pray from Isaiah 50:4 that the Lord would give you an instructed tongue, to know what words to say. Above all, remember the old saying that “the toothpaste cannot be put back in the tube.” Once you say something, it is out there. Remember that your words bring life or they bring death. Be a life-giver.
Fourth, we trust the end result to GOD, not to ourselves. I’m not saying that we never address the lies and say that they are lies. I am talking about not turning around and taking the matter into our own hands by trying to hurt or “repay” the liar(s). To shrug your shoulders and simply say of the lies - “That is not true. That is absolutely false. ” and then leave it at that with no retaliation is a step of faith and I believe that God will honor that faith. By forgiving the person who has spoken against you and trusting GOD to deal with the liar and not trying to deal with this person (or group) yourself, you are showing God that you trust Him more than you trust yourself and you know that His ways really are better than your ways! (Is 55:8). In short, you do it because God tells you to and because your idea of “justice” can in no way compare to His true justice. Also, remember the principle of sowing and reaping! That person who is sowing discord and hate will only reap more discord and hate. But if YOU, on your end, sow forgiveness and peace and refuse to sow further discord, you will reap the benefits of forgiveness and restoration in your own, other relationships.
But if I don’t retaliate, how will others know that the lies are not true? Again, I am not suggesting that you never let others know that what is being said is false. Unfortunately, however, there are some people who you could talk to until you are blue in the face and they will still believe the liar. Often, when dealing with people who are so attached to the liar, you only make yourself look worse by trying to undo the damage of the liar. Proverbs 17:28 says “Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.” Proverbs 9:7 says, "Whoever corrects a mocker invites insult; whoever rebukes a wicked man incurs abuse.” Sometimes the more we defend ourselves and talk against the other person who is lying, the more our actions backfire against us. In Revelations 12 when Satan accuses the brethren with his lies, we are told that the innocent “overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony.” 1 Peter 2:12 and 15 says “Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us…For it is God's will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish men.”
We may never get to verbally defend ourselves here on earth but, as Hebrews 11:1 says, we live by faith and not by sight. We know by faith in God’s word that there will come a day when all darkness will come into the light and when the motives of men's hearts will be exposed(1 Cor 4:5). Part of our faith is believing that all of this foolishness on the earth will one day be reconciled not by ourselves, but by God. “[We are] aliens and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them” (Heb 11:13-16). One day “Every knee will bow [before God]…Every tongue will confess to God” (Romans 14:11). Maybe, just maybe, you will be on your knees next to that person who lied about you and next to those who believed the liar. And, as we are all there, on our knees unable to stand in the presence of Almighty God, I promise you that the Truth WILL be known!
Thank you Lord that you will silence the tongues of those who lie (Psalm 63:11) and that what others intend for evil you can use for good to redeem those who are innocent (Gen 50:20). Lord, no weapon formed against me will prosper (Isaiah 54:17) and I will not be afraid because these weapons that have been formed against me will NOT prosper! You are more powerful than the lies. Thank you, Lord that you give wisdom generously to those who seek it (James 1:5). I ask you now for wisdom in how to deal with those who have hurt me. First, I pray that you would lead me into forgiveness for this person even though they have hurt me (Luke 6:27-42). I cannot do your will until I have forgiven this person (Matthew 18:21-25). Lord, teach me and help me know what to say and when to say it and help me know when to be silent (Is 50:4). Lord, shut my mouth when I am to be silent. I will not be anxious about these lies but through faith I will praise you and your sovereignty and I will allow your peace, which transcends all understanding, to guard my heart and my mind in Christ Jesus (Phil 4:7).
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Sticks and Stones
Remember that childhood saying “stick and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me”? How incredibly untrue, and un-biblical, this old saying is! When others wrongly accuse us or use their “tongues for evil and their lips for speaking lies” (Psalm 34:13), these words can, and usually do, pierce and wound (Prov 12:18). That is their purpose for which they are sent out by the enemy and, often, we allow them to hit their target. Even when we know that the words said are untrue, we cannot discount the power of words to affect our mind, our heart, our soul.
Do you doubt the power of words? Think about this: With His Word, God spoke the universe into being (Genesis 1). By His Word, the universe is upheld and sustained (Hebrews 1:3). Jesus IS the incarnate Word “The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us” (John 1:14). It was by God’s spoken word that He brought forth all of creation. Holy words are so powerful that when spoken, they can bring forth life (Jn 11:43-44)!
But then there are other words, not of God - the words that bring death. Proverbs 18:21 says “The tongue has the power of life and death.” In Psalm 5, David says of evil men: “Not a word from their mouth can be trusted; their heart is filled with destruction. Their throat is an open grave (death, stench); with their tongue they speak deceit.” We cannot say words are not powerful. Words can bring life or they can bring death. We ARE affected by words whether we like it or not.
It is so often in divorce that others will use words against us like weapons to beat us down and render us wounded, confused, crippled. This is even more dramatic, and never-ceasing, if your situation involves a “secret” abuser or addict who is so used to their perception of “being in control.” This person who was so adept at “hiding” their addiction or abusive personality is so used to being in control of you and your perception of them and the world’s perception of them that, when everything hits the fan, they suddenly feel out-of-control and they do not like it one bit. When they have been “outed”, their secret, “safe”, hidden, and “controlled” world of addiction and abuse has been threatened and this is not something they are going to take lying down. So what do they often do in response? They may lash out at you, they may blame you for their problems and concerns, they may initiate arguments with you over every little decision, they may accuse you of being “difficult” and “angry” to excuse their own behaviors, they may attempt to control YOU so that they can gain some semblance of their false sense of “dignity” and “control,” and the list could go on and on.
So, as the baffled women on the receiving end of controlling and manipulative behavior from others, what are we to do when our lives are touched by words of death, like a stinking, rotting open grave described in Psalm 5, and not words of healing and life like those from our Father (John 6:63, Psalm 107:19-20)?
I think the answer will always be different according to what God is doing in our lives at the time and what we hear from Him when we pray about our own situation.
No matter what, though, the most important first step we can always take before picking up the phone to tell others how we have been hurt or wronged, before sitting down to type out an angry or hurt E-mail, before finding our closest friend to tell them how we have been abused– the very first thing we ALWAYS need to do is take our hurt and confusion to the Father in prayer. Hebrews 4:14-16 says that the Lord is able to sympathize with ALL of our “infirmities” (amplified) and that, when hurt, we can “approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” Let Him calm your heart before you make any decisions you may later regret. You have been hurt by words of death that were carelessly spoken by someone else; you do not want to likewise be used by the enemy to fan the stench from this open grave into the lives of others.
Because you, as a believer, are an “ambassador of Christ,” (2 Cor 5:20) when you pray and listen to God, be open to the hard truth that He just MIGHT ask you to remain silent in the face of those who are telling lies about you. I am saying this not because I believe you have to be silent, but simply because this is what God put on my heart as what he wanted me to do when I was hurt by someone else - and I want you to know if this is what he calls you to do as well, just be open and willing and He WILL help you by His Spirit. It was by NO MEANS easy to keep my mouth shut and refrain from “telling everyone” what was really going on behind closed doors with the person who hurt me – but God gave me the help I needed and I have already seen the fruit and the rewards of obedience in not retaliating, not arguing, having “nothing to do with foolish arguments” (2 Tim 2:23). For one thing, God tells us that we will “reap” what we “sow”. If you are engaging in the power-play and “playing the game” with those who lash out at you, sowing seeds of anger and arguing, then you will only reap more of the same. If you “step out” of the game and refuse to engage, refuse to listen (yes, you have the right to hang up the phone when the call becomes “unproductive” with the person attacking you!), and if you “promote peace”, then you will reap more of this for yourself simply by shutting the other person's anger out and not allowing it in your home or on your phone.
Psalm 64:2-3 says that the words of evil-doers are like “deadly arrows.” In Ephesians 6, where we are told how to fight against the enemy, are we told to battle the “flaming arrows” (words) of our enemy with our tongues? No, Ephesians says we battle them by holding up the shield of our faith. What does it look like to hold up the shield of faith against the words of others? Consider Isaiah 53, where we read the prophecy about Jesus and how He responded when He was falsely accused by those who wanted to kill Him, “He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth” (verse 7). Why didn’t He open His mouth? John 19:10-11 says "Do you refuse to speak to me?" Pilate said. "Don't you realize I have power either to free you or to crucify you?" Jesus answered, "You would have no power over me if it were not given to you from above…" Jesus knew that bantering back and forth was not the way to battle. He chose instead to hold up the shield of faith, knowing that His Father in Heaven has all the power, not the liar. Our “shield of faith” is that we have a Father who sees everything that is going on, who loves us and protects us, and who WILL vindicate us in His time. Our faith is that HE, our Father, knows the truth and that that’s all that matters – He WILL take care of it and He will reward our faith in HIS right to avenge, not ours.
I love you, O LORD, my strength. You are my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; You are my rock, in whom I take refuge. You are my shield and the strength of my salvation, my stronghold. You are the God who avenges me…who saves me from my enemies. You exalt me above my foes; from violent men you rescue me. Therefore I will praise you among the nations, O LORD; I will sing praises to your name. (From Psalm 18)
Do you doubt the power of words? Think about this: With His Word, God spoke the universe into being (Genesis 1). By His Word, the universe is upheld and sustained (Hebrews 1:3). Jesus IS the incarnate Word “The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us” (John 1:14). It was by God’s spoken word that He brought forth all of creation. Holy words are so powerful that when spoken, they can bring forth life (Jn 11:43-44)!
But then there are other words, not of God - the words that bring death. Proverbs 18:21 says “The tongue has the power of life and death.” In Psalm 5, David says of evil men: “Not a word from their mouth can be trusted; their heart is filled with destruction. Their throat is an open grave (death, stench); with their tongue they speak deceit.” We cannot say words are not powerful. Words can bring life or they can bring death. We ARE affected by words whether we like it or not.
It is so often in divorce that others will use words against us like weapons to beat us down and render us wounded, confused, crippled. This is even more dramatic, and never-ceasing, if your situation involves a “secret” abuser or addict who is so used to their perception of “being in control.” This person who was so adept at “hiding” their addiction or abusive personality is so used to being in control of you and your perception of them and the world’s perception of them that, when everything hits the fan, they suddenly feel out-of-control and they do not like it one bit. When they have been “outed”, their secret, “safe”, hidden, and “controlled” world of addiction and abuse has been threatened and this is not something they are going to take lying down. So what do they often do in response? They may lash out at you, they may blame you for their problems and concerns, they may initiate arguments with you over every little decision, they may accuse you of being “difficult” and “angry” to excuse their own behaviors, they may attempt to control YOU so that they can gain some semblance of their false sense of “dignity” and “control,” and the list could go on and on.
So, as the baffled women on the receiving end of controlling and manipulative behavior from others, what are we to do when our lives are touched by words of death, like a stinking, rotting open grave described in Psalm 5, and not words of healing and life like those from our Father (John 6:63, Psalm 107:19-20)?
I think the answer will always be different according to what God is doing in our lives at the time and what we hear from Him when we pray about our own situation.
No matter what, though, the most important first step we can always take before picking up the phone to tell others how we have been hurt or wronged, before sitting down to type out an angry or hurt E-mail, before finding our closest friend to tell them how we have been abused– the very first thing we ALWAYS need to do is take our hurt and confusion to the Father in prayer. Hebrews 4:14-16 says that the Lord is able to sympathize with ALL of our “infirmities” (amplified) and that, when hurt, we can “approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” Let Him calm your heart before you make any decisions you may later regret. You have been hurt by words of death that were carelessly spoken by someone else; you do not want to likewise be used by the enemy to fan the stench from this open grave into the lives of others.
Because you, as a believer, are an “ambassador of Christ,” (2 Cor 5:20) when you pray and listen to God, be open to the hard truth that He just MIGHT ask you to remain silent in the face of those who are telling lies about you. I am saying this not because I believe you have to be silent, but simply because this is what God put on my heart as what he wanted me to do when I was hurt by someone else - and I want you to know if this is what he calls you to do as well, just be open and willing and He WILL help you by His Spirit. It was by NO MEANS easy to keep my mouth shut and refrain from “telling everyone” what was really going on behind closed doors with the person who hurt me – but God gave me the help I needed and I have already seen the fruit and the rewards of obedience in not retaliating, not arguing, having “nothing to do with foolish arguments” (2 Tim 2:23). For one thing, God tells us that we will “reap” what we “sow”. If you are engaging in the power-play and “playing the game” with those who lash out at you, sowing seeds of anger and arguing, then you will only reap more of the same. If you “step out” of the game and refuse to engage, refuse to listen (yes, you have the right to hang up the phone when the call becomes “unproductive” with the person attacking you!), and if you “promote peace”, then you will reap more of this for yourself simply by shutting the other person's anger out and not allowing it in your home or on your phone.
Psalm 64:2-3 says that the words of evil-doers are like “deadly arrows.” In Ephesians 6, where we are told how to fight against the enemy, are we told to battle the “flaming arrows” (words) of our enemy with our tongues? No, Ephesians says we battle them by holding up the shield of our faith. What does it look like to hold up the shield of faith against the words of others? Consider Isaiah 53, where we read the prophecy about Jesus and how He responded when He was falsely accused by those who wanted to kill Him, “He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth” (verse 7). Why didn’t He open His mouth? John 19:10-11 says "Do you refuse to speak to me?" Pilate said. "Don't you realize I have power either to free you or to crucify you?" Jesus answered, "You would have no power over me if it were not given to you from above…" Jesus knew that bantering back and forth was not the way to battle. He chose instead to hold up the shield of faith, knowing that His Father in Heaven has all the power, not the liar. Our “shield of faith” is that we have a Father who sees everything that is going on, who loves us and protects us, and who WILL vindicate us in His time. Our faith is that HE, our Father, knows the truth and that that’s all that matters – He WILL take care of it and He will reward our faith in HIS right to avenge, not ours.
I love you, O LORD, my strength. You are my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; You are my rock, in whom I take refuge. You are my shield and the strength of my salvation, my stronghold. You are the God who avenges me…who saves me from my enemies. You exalt me above my foes; from violent men you rescue me. Therefore I will praise you among the nations, O LORD; I will sing praises to your name. (From Psalm 18)
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Wrongfully Accused
(Please note that the hi-lited passages provide links to the sites or Scriptures referenced)
"Who is like you, O LORD ? You rescue the poor from those too strong for them, the poor and needy from those who rob them.
Ruthless witnesses come forward; they question me on things I know nothing about.
They repay me evil for good and leave my soul forlorn...
...When I stumbled, they gathered in glee; attackers gathered against me when I was unaware. They slandered me without ceasing.
Like the ungodly they maliciously mocked ; they gnashed their teeth at me.,,
O Lord, how long will you look on? Rescue my life from their ravages, my precious life from these lions.
I will give you thanks in the great assembly; among throngs of people I will praise you.
Let not those gloat over me who are my enemies without cause; let not those who hate me without reason maliciously wink the eye.
They do not speak peaceably, but devise false accusations against those who live quietly in the land...
O LORD, you have seen this; be not silent. Do not be far from me, O Lord.
Awake, and rise to my defense! Contend for me, my God and Lord.
Vindicate me in your righteousness, O LORD my God; do not let them gloat over me.
Do not let them think, "Aha, just what we wanted!" or say, "We have swallowed him up."
May all who gloat over my distress be put to shame and confusion; may all who exalt themselves over me be clothed with shame and disgrace.
May those who delight in my vindication shout for joy and gladness; may they always say,
"The LORD be exalted, who delights in the well-being of his servant."
My tongue will speak of your righteousness and of your praises all day long." (Psalm 35)
You know how people always say "be careful what you pray for?" It is ironic how we pray for something like patience or self-control and then when God actually starts to teach us these things through our real experiences, we react by saying "whoooah - that's not what I meant! Can't you just hand it over to me without all this pain?" Sometimes God can change things within us overnight but other times there are parts of us that He knows are best changed over time, through our own experiences.
Shortly before my divorce and before I even knew there would ever BE a divorce, I naievely prayed that God would deliver me from being a people-pleaser and worrying so much what others thought of me. Well, a divorce will either quickly deliver you from caring what others think OR you will go insane obsessing about what everyone is saying. Divorce is a like a foul retention pond, a perverse breeding ground for all the parasitic rumors, lies, misconceptions, and slander that you can imagine.
As the care-givers in our relationships, those who are involved or affected by addicts or abusers are shocked when these lies and accusations come at us from the other person- we think "what did I do to deserve this?" "How could they say this about me?" Because of our tendency to project everything onto ourselves as "a consequence of something I did wrong" we also, wrongly, tend to worry that the unjustified attacks from others, the lies and false rumors, are a sign of God's disapproval or that we must be doing something wrong or this person and their "friends"
would not be spreading "malicious gossip."
In Acts 13:22, Paul recalls the scripture from 1 Samuel 13:14 where God says of David, author of the above-quoted Psalm 35, "'I have found David son of Jesse a man after my own heart". Here was David, a man so beloved of God that God SPOKE of him as "a man after my own heart." And yet even David, beloved of God the Father, approved and anointed, even David suffered from malicious gossipers, liars, evil-doers (see Psalm 35 above).
Luke 6:46-49 says, "Why do you call me, 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do what I say? I will show you what he is like who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice. He is like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built. But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete."
Notice that there are two types of people Jesus lists here : The person who is pleasing to God, with their house built on the Rock (the solid foundation of God and His Word) or the person with their house built on the sand (the foolish person who trusts in the world and not in the Lord). Does the rain ONLY fall on the foolish man's house in the sand? NO!
It is so important to take notice that Jesus says not only will it "rain" on both houses, but it will FLOOD - there will be TORRENTS (like a hurricane in some cases!) - on BOTH houses.
So when you are standing in the midst of the storm, which WILL come in anyone's life - and when the filthy rains of this world are falling on you, blowing you almost over, soaking you - do NOT assume this rain is falling on you because you have done something "wrong" or because God is "displeased" - Remember that the rain will fall on the foolish AND the wise -
As Matthew 5:45 says, "He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous."
Do not look up into the rain and wonder why the rain is falling on you - the rain will only blind you where you cannot see; this is a waste of time! Instead, look at where you are standing while it is raining. Are you standing firmly on Christ, the ROCK (1 Cor 10:4) who will provide you with the ONLY stability available? Or are you trying (probably unsuccessfully) to stand on the sand, which will shift and change and sink beneath you?
The Lord tells us that the rain WILL fall - we WILL have troubles in this life, no matter what (John 16:33). So, knowing this, what YOU need to think about is not how to avoid the rain, but - How sturdy is YOUR "house" and how will it withstand the storms?
Oh Lord, I know the rains will fall. I know there will be trouble. As long as Satan roams around this earth, there will be lying and evil and pain. But You are my strength. You are my rock. You are my defender. I trust in YOU Lord to keep my feet firmly planted and to hold me up when I feel like I cannot stand up any more. When I am weak, You are strong. Lord, help me build a firm foundation for myself and my children that our house will be built on the rock, forever. Please show me, Lord, if there are any areas I need to change or grow so that my foundation will be firmer, more solid. I believe that You will give me strength Lord and that you will make my foundation secure in Jesus' name - Amen
Psalm 40:1-2
"I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand."
From "THE SOLID ROCK" (A Hymn by Edward Mote)
My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame, But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.
...I rest on His unchanging grace;
In every high and stormy gale, My anchor holds within the veil.
His oath, His covenant, His blood support me in the whelming flood;
When all around my soul gives way, He then is all my hope and stay.
ON CHRIST THE SOLID ROCK I STAND; ALL OTHER GROUND IS
SINKING SAND, ALL OTHER GROUND IS SINKING SAND.
ON CHRIST THE SOLID ROCK I STAND; ALL OTHER GROUND IS SINKING SAND"
"Who is like you, O LORD ? You rescue the poor from those too strong for them, the poor and needy from those who rob them.
Ruthless witnesses come forward; they question me on things I know nothing about.
They repay me evil for good and leave my soul forlorn...
...When I stumbled, they gathered in glee; attackers gathered against me when I was unaware. They slandered me without ceasing.
Like the ungodly they maliciously mocked ; they gnashed their teeth at me.,,
O Lord, how long will you look on? Rescue my life from their ravages, my precious life from these lions.
I will give you thanks in the great assembly; among throngs of people I will praise you.
Let not those gloat over me who are my enemies without cause; let not those who hate me without reason maliciously wink the eye.
They do not speak peaceably, but devise false accusations against those who live quietly in the land...
O LORD, you have seen this; be not silent. Do not be far from me, O Lord.
Awake, and rise to my defense! Contend for me, my God and Lord.
Vindicate me in your righteousness, O LORD my God; do not let them gloat over me.
Do not let them think, "Aha, just what we wanted!" or say, "We have swallowed him up."
May all who gloat over my distress be put to shame and confusion; may all who exalt themselves over me be clothed with shame and disgrace.
May those who delight in my vindication shout for joy and gladness; may they always say,
"The LORD be exalted, who delights in the well-being of his servant."
My tongue will speak of your righteousness and of your praises all day long." (Psalm 35)
You know how people always say "be careful what you pray for?" It is ironic how we pray for something like patience or self-control and then when God actually starts to teach us these things through our real experiences, we react by saying "whoooah - that's not what I meant! Can't you just hand it over to me without all this pain?" Sometimes God can change things within us overnight but other times there are parts of us that He knows are best changed over time, through our own experiences.
Shortly before my divorce and before I even knew there would ever BE a divorce, I naievely prayed that God would deliver me from being a people-pleaser and worrying so much what others thought of me. Well, a divorce will either quickly deliver you from caring what others think OR you will go insane obsessing about what everyone is saying. Divorce is a like a foul retention pond, a perverse breeding ground for all the parasitic rumors, lies, misconceptions, and slander that you can imagine.
As the care-givers in our relationships, those who are involved or affected by addicts or abusers are shocked when these lies and accusations come at us from the other person- we think "what did I do to deserve this?" "How could they say this about me?" Because of our tendency to project everything onto ourselves as "a consequence of something I did wrong" we also, wrongly, tend to worry that the unjustified attacks from others, the lies and false rumors, are a sign of God's disapproval or that we must be doing something wrong or this person and their "friends"
would not be spreading "malicious gossip."
In Acts 13:22, Paul recalls the scripture from 1 Samuel 13:14 where God says of David, author of the above-quoted Psalm 35, "'I have found David son of Jesse a man after my own heart". Here was David, a man so beloved of God that God SPOKE of him as "a man after my own heart." And yet even David, beloved of God the Father, approved and anointed, even David suffered from malicious gossipers, liars, evil-doers (see Psalm 35 above).
Luke 6:46-49 says, "Why do you call me, 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do what I say? I will show you what he is like who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice. He is like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built. But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete."
Notice that there are two types of people Jesus lists here : The person who is pleasing to God, with their house built on the Rock (the solid foundation of God and His Word) or the person with their house built on the sand (the foolish person who trusts in the world and not in the Lord). Does the rain ONLY fall on the foolish man's house in the sand? NO!
It is so important to take notice that Jesus says not only will it "rain" on both houses, but it will FLOOD - there will be TORRENTS (like a hurricane in some cases!) - on BOTH houses.
So when you are standing in the midst of the storm, which WILL come in anyone's life - and when the filthy rains of this world are falling on you, blowing you almost over, soaking you - do NOT assume this rain is falling on you because you have done something "wrong" or because God is "displeased" - Remember that the rain will fall on the foolish AND the wise -
As Matthew 5:45 says, "He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous."
Do not look up into the rain and wonder why the rain is falling on you - the rain will only blind you where you cannot see; this is a waste of time! Instead, look at where you are standing while it is raining. Are you standing firmly on Christ, the ROCK (1 Cor 10:4) who will provide you with the ONLY stability available? Or are you trying (probably unsuccessfully) to stand on the sand, which will shift and change and sink beneath you?
The Lord tells us that the rain WILL fall - we WILL have troubles in this life, no matter what (John 16:33). So, knowing this, what YOU need to think about is not how to avoid the rain, but - How sturdy is YOUR "house" and how will it withstand the storms?
Oh Lord, I know the rains will fall. I know there will be trouble. As long as Satan roams around this earth, there will be lying and evil and pain. But You are my strength. You are my rock. You are my defender. I trust in YOU Lord to keep my feet firmly planted and to hold me up when I feel like I cannot stand up any more. When I am weak, You are strong. Lord, help me build a firm foundation for myself and my children that our house will be built on the rock, forever. Please show me, Lord, if there are any areas I need to change or grow so that my foundation will be firmer, more solid. I believe that You will give me strength Lord and that you will make my foundation secure in Jesus' name - Amen
Psalm 40:1-2
"I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand."
From "THE SOLID ROCK" (A Hymn by Edward Mote)
My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame, But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.
...I rest on His unchanging grace;
In every high and stormy gale, My anchor holds within the veil.
His oath, His covenant, His blood support me in the whelming flood;
When all around my soul gives way, He then is all my hope and stay.
ON CHRIST THE SOLID ROCK I STAND; ALL OTHER GROUND IS
SINKING SAND, ALL OTHER GROUND IS SINKING SAND.
ON CHRIST THE SOLID ROCK I STAND; ALL OTHER GROUND IS SINKING SAND"
Monday, August 25, 2008
Your Choice Part 2
(Please note: The hi-lited passages provide links to the sites and Scriptures referenced)
Yesterday I felt led to write an entry on Forgiveness and about choosing your path that you would go down post-divorce. I wrote this because, like anything I write, it is something that I personally struggle with and that God is teaching me.
I want to clarify that the struggle to forgive those who have hurt us is a daily battle that we fight. But first we have to recognize, as I pointed out in yesterday's post, that there IS a battle.
If I ever doubted that there was a battle, then I only need to read God's Word to know that this battle is real and that there is a daily fight for my thoughts and my relationship with God.
1 Peter 5:8-9 (Amplified) says, "Be well balanced (temperate, sober of mind), be vigilant and cautious at all times; for that enemy of yours, the devil, roams around like a lion roaring [in fierce hunger], seeking someone to seize upon and devour. Withstand him; be firm in faith [against his onset--rooted, established, strong, immovable, and determined], knowing that the same (identical) sufferings are appointed to your brotherhood (the whole body of Christians) throughout the world."
When I was writing yesterday, I was not saying that if you choose the path of life and obedience, then you will be "super-spiritual" and never have thoughts of anger or bitterness. You WILL have these thoughts! Satan will tempt you by provoking you. He will tempt you with anything he can to try to lure you away from the Eden-relationship that God desires to have with you through His Son. Like he did with Adam and Eve, the enemy will say things like "Now, do you think that's REALLY what God meant?" or "surely this ONE time it's okay to do it your way...you 'deserve' to do what you think is right!" (Gen 3:1). He is slowly, craftily luring you away from Your Father, the Shepherd. The enemy wants to "scatter the flock" and separate us from our Shepherd because he knows the Shepherd loves us, protects us, and lays down His life for us (John 10:11-15). The enemy has come "to steal, and to kill, and to destroy..." and to prevent you from the "abundant life" that God has for you (John 10:10). So, these thoughts and suggestions will come and, in our flesh, we will want to retreat to our anger and bitterness. The battle begins when we are given the choice of what we will DO with these thoughts after they arrive.
Satan knows of God, from his own wicked personal experience, that "God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin" (1 John 1:5-7).
Satan also knows that God's Word says "Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness. Whoever loves his brother lives in the light, and there is nothing in him to make him stumble. But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness; he does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded him" (1 John 2:9-11).
As I already said, I am writing about this because I am experiencing it first hand and I am learning it day by day. I am learning that forgiveness is a DAILY battle for my thoughts. It is one, though, that I am willing to fight because I want that "fellowship with Him...walking in the light..." and I do NOT want Satan to trick me into blindly wandering away from that fellowship. I am willing to do anything I can, even if that means I let go of all bitterness and anger that I feel "entitled to", so that nothing will hinder my relationship and fellowship with My Father. Ephesians 4:30-31 says, "...Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice." That makes it pretty clear to me that if I want to walk in the light, in perfect fellowship with My Father, I HAVE to do a daily clean-up and submit my thoughts back to God's control instead of to my flesh.
This is NOT an easy thing to do. It completely goes against what our flesh wants. It takes sacrifice, which is never "fun." Sacrifice involves death, pain, brokenness - none of which sounds easy or light. It takes laying down those feelings on God's altar and saying here, Lord, take this from me. I don't want it anymore. Burn it up on your altar; I give it to you. Romans 12:1-2 says "I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."
So when I allow my thoughts to be transformed by the Spirit and when I undertake this daily renewal of my mind, does this mean that I am best friends with the person who has hurt me and that I am "in fellowship" with him and I think of him with fondness as "my brother"? No, it does not - not according to the world's definition at least. Some people may be able to have such a relationship that is publicly open and trusting with those who have formerly hurt or betrayed them but often, especially when dealing with an addict, this relationship is simply not realistic.
What it DOES mean is that I am willing to submit my thoughts about this person who has hurt me to God and let GOD deal with those emotions instead of battling them in my flesh. Just this morning, Satan dropped one of his little "surprise packages" at my door (how ironic in light of the fact that I just wrote on forgiveness last night! Coincidence? hardly!) There was a situation before me where, in all my flesh, I was perfectly "justified" in harboring anger, bitterness, unforgiveness with someone. There were words spoken that I could have chosen to replay over and over and over in my head, mulling over them, letting them soak in like poison and eat away at my joy, my peace, and, ultimately, my communion with God. But, by the grace of God the Spirit in me recognized these words as "fiery darts" from the enemy. Though the words came from the mouth of FP, they were designed by the enemy to "steal...destroy...kill."
Ephesians 6:12-13 says, "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood (your "battle" is NOT against the person who has hurt you!) but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms (Your "battle" is with SATAN, who is attacking you by using means of this world). Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand."
This morning, when I was attacked by thoughts that could have given way to bitterness and anger, I wanted to make SURE that I had "done everything...to stand [my] ground." This meant that instead of dwelling on those thoughts, I had to immediately "take them captive" (2 Cor 10:5) and I had to immediately "transform...renew my mind" (Rom 12:2).
2 Corinthians 2:10-11 says "...What I have forgiven...I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his [Satan's] schemes."
This morning, when confronted with controversy, I had to recognize the attack as not from FP, the person, but from the enemy (not of flesh and blood, but spirit) and recognize that he [Satan] was doing this to steal my joy, to deceive me, to lure me away from My Shepherd. I had to pray for my thoughts and I had to pray for FP (Rom 12:14). This is only done by God's grace and with His help. Again, I am not the expert on this, I am just another student of the Spirit, like you, learning each day by His grace! I pray for you and for me that we will learn more about this each day, so that we can have His peace instead of anger, love instead of anger, joy instead of depression, freedom instead of bitterness.
2 Timothy 2:22-27 "Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will."
Lord, I want to renew and transform my thoughts right now and line them up in obedience to your will. I want to get rid of all of this bitterness, anger, rage. Lord, this person who has set out to attack and hurt me has sinned against you and you alone and I give their sin back to you and remove myself from this situation. I forgive them Lord for they do not know what they are doing. They are held captive by the enemy and I pray for their release. I pray that you would bless them Lord with your healing and restoration. I pray that they would know your love and your perfect will and that they will not be blinded by the world. Lord, fill my heart with your peace, your joy, your love. Take my thoughts captive and let me only dwell on what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy (Phil 4:8). Help me to see the world as YOU see it and not through my own eyes. Show me if there is anything in my heart that remains to be cleansed so that I can continue in perfect fellowship with you, through the blood of your Son. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
Yesterday I felt led to write an entry on Forgiveness and about choosing your path that you would go down post-divorce. I wrote this because, like anything I write, it is something that I personally struggle with and that God is teaching me.
I want to clarify that the struggle to forgive those who have hurt us is a daily battle that we fight. But first we have to recognize, as I pointed out in yesterday's post, that there IS a battle.
If I ever doubted that there was a battle, then I only need to read God's Word to know that this battle is real and that there is a daily fight for my thoughts and my relationship with God.
1 Peter 5:8-9 (Amplified) says, "Be well balanced (temperate, sober of mind), be vigilant and cautious at all times; for that enemy of yours, the devil, roams around like a lion roaring [in fierce hunger], seeking someone to seize upon and devour. Withstand him; be firm in faith [against his onset--rooted, established, strong, immovable, and determined], knowing that the same (identical) sufferings are appointed to your brotherhood (the whole body of Christians) throughout the world."
When I was writing yesterday, I was not saying that if you choose the path of life and obedience, then you will be "super-spiritual" and never have thoughts of anger or bitterness. You WILL have these thoughts! Satan will tempt you by provoking you. He will tempt you with anything he can to try to lure you away from the Eden-relationship that God desires to have with you through His Son. Like he did with Adam and Eve, the enemy will say things like "Now, do you think that's REALLY what God meant?" or "surely this ONE time it's okay to do it your way...you 'deserve' to do what you think is right!" (Gen 3:1). He is slowly, craftily luring you away from Your Father, the Shepherd. The enemy wants to "scatter the flock" and separate us from our Shepherd because he knows the Shepherd loves us, protects us, and lays down His life for us (John 10:11-15). The enemy has come "to steal, and to kill, and to destroy..." and to prevent you from the "abundant life" that God has for you (John 10:10). So, these thoughts and suggestions will come and, in our flesh, we will want to retreat to our anger and bitterness. The battle begins when we are given the choice of what we will DO with these thoughts after they arrive.
Satan knows of God, from his own wicked personal experience, that "God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin" (1 John 1:5-7).
Satan also knows that God's Word says "Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness. Whoever loves his brother lives in the light, and there is nothing in him to make him stumble. But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness; he does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded him" (1 John 2:9-11).
As I already said, I am writing about this because I am experiencing it first hand and I am learning it day by day. I am learning that forgiveness is a DAILY battle for my thoughts. It is one, though, that I am willing to fight because I want that "fellowship with Him...walking in the light..." and I do NOT want Satan to trick me into blindly wandering away from that fellowship. I am willing to do anything I can, even if that means I let go of all bitterness and anger that I feel "entitled to", so that nothing will hinder my relationship and fellowship with My Father. Ephesians 4:30-31 says, "...Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice." That makes it pretty clear to me that if I want to walk in the light, in perfect fellowship with My Father, I HAVE to do a daily clean-up and submit my thoughts back to God's control instead of to my flesh.
This is NOT an easy thing to do. It completely goes against what our flesh wants. It takes sacrifice, which is never "fun." Sacrifice involves death, pain, brokenness - none of which sounds easy or light. It takes laying down those feelings on God's altar and saying here, Lord, take this from me. I don't want it anymore. Burn it up on your altar; I give it to you. Romans 12:1-2 says "I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."
So when I allow my thoughts to be transformed by the Spirit and when I undertake this daily renewal of my mind, does this mean that I am best friends with the person who has hurt me and that I am "in fellowship" with him and I think of him with fondness as "my brother"? No, it does not - not according to the world's definition at least. Some people may be able to have such a relationship that is publicly open and trusting with those who have formerly hurt or betrayed them but often, especially when dealing with an addict, this relationship is simply not realistic.
What it DOES mean is that I am willing to submit my thoughts about this person who has hurt me to God and let GOD deal with those emotions instead of battling them in my flesh. Just this morning, Satan dropped one of his little "surprise packages" at my door (how ironic in light of the fact that I just wrote on forgiveness last night! Coincidence? hardly!) There was a situation before me where, in all my flesh, I was perfectly "justified" in harboring anger, bitterness, unforgiveness with someone. There were words spoken that I could have chosen to replay over and over and over in my head, mulling over them, letting them soak in like poison and eat away at my joy, my peace, and, ultimately, my communion with God. But, by the grace of God the Spirit in me recognized these words as "fiery darts" from the enemy. Though the words came from the mouth of FP, they were designed by the enemy to "steal...destroy...kill."
Ephesians 6:12-13 says, "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood (your "battle" is NOT against the person who has hurt you!) but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms (Your "battle" is with SATAN, who is attacking you by using means of this world). Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand."
This morning, when I was attacked by thoughts that could have given way to bitterness and anger, I wanted to make SURE that I had "done everything...to stand [my] ground." This meant that instead of dwelling on those thoughts, I had to immediately "take them captive" (2 Cor 10:5) and I had to immediately "transform...renew my mind" (Rom 12:2).
2 Corinthians 2:10-11 says "...What I have forgiven...I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his [Satan's] schemes."
This morning, when confronted with controversy, I had to recognize the attack as not from FP, the person, but from the enemy (not of flesh and blood, but spirit) and recognize that he [Satan] was doing this to steal my joy, to deceive me, to lure me away from My Shepherd. I had to pray for my thoughts and I had to pray for FP (Rom 12:14). This is only done by God's grace and with His help. Again, I am not the expert on this, I am just another student of the Spirit, like you, learning each day by His grace! I pray for you and for me that we will learn more about this each day, so that we can have His peace instead of anger, love instead of anger, joy instead of depression, freedom instead of bitterness.
2 Timothy 2:22-27 "Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will."
Lord, I want to renew and transform my thoughts right now and line them up in obedience to your will. I want to get rid of all of this bitterness, anger, rage. Lord, this person who has set out to attack and hurt me has sinned against you and you alone and I give their sin back to you and remove myself from this situation. I forgive them Lord for they do not know what they are doing. They are held captive by the enemy and I pray for their release. I pray that you would bless them Lord with your healing and restoration. I pray that they would know your love and your perfect will and that they will not be blinded by the world. Lord, fill my heart with your peace, your joy, your love. Take my thoughts captive and let me only dwell on what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy (Phil 4:8). Help me to see the world as YOU see it and not through my own eyes. Show me if there is anything in my heart that remains to be cleansed so that I can continue in perfect fellowship with you, through the blood of your Son. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
The Choice Is Yours
(Please Note: The hi-lited passages provide links to the sites and Scriptures that are referenced)
In Deuteronomy 30:15, 19-20, Moses says to the Israelites, "See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction...This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob."
Similarly, in Joshua 24:15, Joshua says to the Israelites "But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD."
The Lord puts two choices before us each day - We can choose this day to take HIS way and HIS path, or we can choose the path of the enemy, a path of destruction and emptiness. So often in our lives we try to live like the world tricks us into believing - in "shades of gray," not calling a spade a spade and not acknowledging that, according to the Truth (and not according to the world's way of seeing things) that there really is only black or white, good or evil, God's way or Satan's way. We are only given two choices - Life (God's way) or Death (Satan's way). Matthew 5:37 says "Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one." That's pretty black and white. This is reiterated in James 5:12b "Let your "Yes" be yes, and your "No," no, or you will be condemned." Notice that there is no "Maybe" listed as an option in these verses...There is no "just this one time....I might...." It is either "Yes" or "No" - "Black" or "White". Or, as Revelations 3:15-16 puts it, there is only either "Hot" or "Cold" in God's eyes. He detests the "lukewarm," the "Maybe," the "Shades of Gray." In this verse, the Lord says to the church in Laodicea: "I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth."
Where am I going with all of this? In the Divorce Care Bible Study, Steve Grissom talks about how, in the after-math of divorce, there are only two paths before us to go down and we must choose which path to take. One path is the path of bitterness and unforgiveness (this would line up with choosing the path of death, destruction, or coldness from the verses above) or, on the other hand, there is the path of healing and forgiveness (this would line up with choosing the path of life and prosperity, "on fire" for God). I believe, looking at the verses above, that there really are only 2 choices here. And we each have to decide which path we will take after the divorce. I think we can all picture people who have chosen one path or the other. There is the "angry, bitter" divorcee who, whenever you run into her at the grocery store or mall, is quick to tell you how horrible her life is and how the other person has "ruined everything" and her "whole life sucks" because of him. Then there is the divorcee we run into while we are out and about who has moved on, is living her OWN life, and is not "bound" by the other person... and we think "HOW does she do it? THAT is the joy that I want!"
Which woman will you become? There are only 2 choices available, so choose this day what your choice will be.
There are very clear consequences for choosing one path or the other. These are listed in the Divorce Care workbook and are better explained through the study, but I will just list them here. (They are also discussed in the Divorce Care Devotions book which, if you cannot attend the class, I HIGHLY recommend getting).
The consequences of unforgiveness are:
Depression (God is very clear in His Word that our unforgiveness separates us from Him, which in turn will steal our joy)
Bitterness and negativity (even to those who haven't caused you any harm)
Hurt to those around us (they feel targeted by our misplaced anger)
Physical, spiritual, and emotional sickness (again, a consequence of our separation from God)
Loneliness (who wants to be around someone eaten up by bitterness and anger, "spewing" their anger on all those around them??)
The benefits of choosing the other path, the path of forgivenss are:
Freedom to move on (What is the point of being divorced if you are going to continue to be wrapped up in this person and letting them control your emotions and well-being?!)
Healing (A "scab" cannot heal if you keep "picking at it" - likewise, your life will not heal as long as you keep re-opening the wounds the other person has left behind)
Forgiveness is the "antidote" for resentment and anger (forgiveness is liberating - as long as you are living in unforgiveness and anger, you are continuing to give the other person "power" over you and your emotions)
The situation will no longer have power over you if you choose to let it go.
You are standing at a cross-road and there are only two choices. If you are already ON the road of bitterness and anger and unforgiveness and have been there for quite a while, it is NEVER too late to tell God you are READY to get OFF of that road! God is the God of reconciliation! Look at Luke 15 - We have the parable of the lost sheep, the lost coin, the lost (prodigal) son all right there together. God is saying to us "Come back! Jump on MY path! It's not too late! Don't go down that path - that path is DEATH! Come to ME you who are weary! (Matt 11:28)"
How do we start back to the right path, to God's path? First, Satan wants to keep us on that wrong path, the anger path, so he will try to do everything he can to keep us in that anger and bitterness. There will be true spiritual warfare, battle through your mind, for Satan to try to keep you on that path. This means that you will have to PRAY, PRAY, PRAY and be IN THE WORD, reading the TRUTH, the Bible! You cannot get to the other path on your own. You can only do it through the power of the Holy Spirit within you. And you will probably have to DAILY "take your thoughts captive to Christ." Do not let Satan fool you into thinking that this is anything less than a battle for your mind. 2Corinthians 10:3-5 says "For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." This sure sounds like a battle to me! And it sure sounds like I'd better start fighting! DAILY!
It really is a daily struggle to walk on this path of life and light. Daily Satan will shoot "fiery darts" at you, trying to wound you, trying to put you back on the path of bitterness and anger (Ephesians 6:16). He will replay thoughts, conversations, instances, situations, etc. in your head, all "justifying" your anger and unforgiveness. This is where you will have to "demolish" every one of those arguments and "take captive" every thought, making it "obedient to Christ." Again, making a choice whether to give in and lie down on the battlefield, or stand up for yourself and your kids and say "No more!"
So how do we begin? In the Divorce Care workbook, there is a "process" - I started this process a few years ago and I am STILL experiencing it day by day, but I can tell you that I am MILES further down my road of forgiveness than when I began - and the FREEDOM I have is significant and life-giving!
The first step = "Ask God to forgive ME" - We need to confess to God if we are holding onto bitterness and unforgiveness because, if so, we are holding on to something that belongs ONLY to God (Deut 32:35, Psalm 51:4) and is NOT our realm of responsibility.
The second step = "Transfer the hurts and offenses that I have been carrying" - Lord, these sins of this person are too heavy for me to bear. I give them to you as YOUR property. Take these offenses and nail them to the cross. Take these offenses from my mind, from my heart- I've had enough and I don't want to bear them any more. Please take them from me so that I can move forward, unhindered, unbound.
The third step = "Turn the other person over to God" - Give the Lord ownership of the person who has hurt you. Pray that God would put HIS hand and HIS judgment over that person and then you LET GO. Trust in the Lord, the righteous judge, to deal with that person justly. You may never "see" this justice in your lifetime - you may never see this person "pay" according to YOUR standards, but by letting it go and giving it over to the Lord, on His altar, you are performing an act of FAITH in HIS Lordship and He WILL honor your faith!
All of this may be old news to some of you or for others it may be very hard to read. You may be thinking "Heck no I'm not forgiving that person! Do you know what they did to me and what they continue to do every day???" No, I don't know and really nobody knows but you and God. So don't argue with me about whether you should forgive that person or not. Take your question to God. He already knows what is in your heart anyway, so why not talk to Him about it? Ask Him RIGHT NOW to show you His will for your freedom, for letting go of anger and bitterness. Ask Him to show you how to forgive, how and where to start the battle. He DESIRES freedom for you (Luke 4:18). This freedom is part of His will, His plan for you. If you ASK Him to help you find this freedom, He WILL answer and guide you (1 John 5:14-15). And, after you ask Him, then you must follow James 1:22, "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says."!!! Even if you are not there yet, the Lord will honor your obedience in simply asking Him to HELP you get there!
Lord, you say that with faith the size of a mustard seed I can move mountains (Matt 17:20). Lord, I give this mustard seed, the size of the tip of a pin, to you. This tiny bit of faith that I can forgive. This tiny mustard seed of forgiveness that I have, I give it to you Lord. Grow it Father with the Light of Your Holy Spirit within me. Water it Lord with the Living Waters of Your Word. Father, I want healing. I need Your healing. Show me Lord the path to healing and forgiveness and guide my feet down this path, closer and closer to You. Open my ears to hear you and my heart to obey you. Teach me Your ways, Lord. Remind me each day Lord to take my thoughts captive and make them obedient to Christ. Every thought, every attack, every phone call, every E-mail that is false and hurtful and sets itself up against your Truth - remind me to take it captive to You so that NOTHING will hinder my walk with you and my relationship with You. I love you Lord and I cry out to you for Your help, that I can grow closer to You each day and fight against all weapons that seek to pull me away from you. In Jesus' name Amen!"
In Deuteronomy 30:15, 19-20, Moses says to the Israelites, "See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction...This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob."
Similarly, in Joshua 24:15, Joshua says to the Israelites "But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD."
The Lord puts two choices before us each day - We can choose this day to take HIS way and HIS path, or we can choose the path of the enemy, a path of destruction and emptiness. So often in our lives we try to live like the world tricks us into believing - in "shades of gray," not calling a spade a spade and not acknowledging that, according to the Truth (and not according to the world's way of seeing things) that there really is only black or white, good or evil, God's way or Satan's way. We are only given two choices - Life (God's way) or Death (Satan's way). Matthew 5:37 says "Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one." That's pretty black and white. This is reiterated in James 5:12b "Let your "Yes" be yes, and your "No," no, or you will be condemned." Notice that there is no "Maybe" listed as an option in these verses...There is no "just this one time....I might...." It is either "Yes" or "No" - "Black" or "White". Or, as Revelations 3:15-16 puts it, there is only either "Hot" or "Cold" in God's eyes. He detests the "lukewarm," the "Maybe," the "Shades of Gray." In this verse, the Lord says to the church in Laodicea: "I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth."
Where am I going with all of this? In the Divorce Care Bible Study, Steve Grissom talks about how, in the after-math of divorce, there are only two paths before us to go down and we must choose which path to take. One path is the path of bitterness and unforgiveness (this would line up with choosing the path of death, destruction, or coldness from the verses above) or, on the other hand, there is the path of healing and forgiveness (this would line up with choosing the path of life and prosperity, "on fire" for God). I believe, looking at the verses above, that there really are only 2 choices here. And we each have to decide which path we will take after the divorce. I think we can all picture people who have chosen one path or the other. There is the "angry, bitter" divorcee who, whenever you run into her at the grocery store or mall, is quick to tell you how horrible her life is and how the other person has "ruined everything" and her "whole life sucks" because of him. Then there is the divorcee we run into while we are out and about who has moved on, is living her OWN life, and is not "bound" by the other person... and we think "HOW does she do it? THAT is the joy that I want!"
Which woman will you become? There are only 2 choices available, so choose this day what your choice will be.
There are very clear consequences for choosing one path or the other. These are listed in the Divorce Care workbook and are better explained through the study, but I will just list them here. (They are also discussed in the Divorce Care Devotions book which, if you cannot attend the class, I HIGHLY recommend getting).
The consequences of unforgiveness are:
Depression (God is very clear in His Word that our unforgiveness separates us from Him, which in turn will steal our joy)
Bitterness and negativity (even to those who haven't caused you any harm)
Hurt to those around us (they feel targeted by our misplaced anger)
Physical, spiritual, and emotional sickness (again, a consequence of our separation from God)
Loneliness (who wants to be around someone eaten up by bitterness and anger, "spewing" their anger on all those around them??)
The benefits of choosing the other path, the path of forgivenss are:
Freedom to move on (What is the point of being divorced if you are going to continue to be wrapped up in this person and letting them control your emotions and well-being?!)
Healing (A "scab" cannot heal if you keep "picking at it" - likewise, your life will not heal as long as you keep re-opening the wounds the other person has left behind)
Forgiveness is the "antidote" for resentment and anger (forgiveness is liberating - as long as you are living in unforgiveness and anger, you are continuing to give the other person "power" over you and your emotions)
The situation will no longer have power over you if you choose to let it go.
You are standing at a cross-road and there are only two choices. If you are already ON the road of bitterness and anger and unforgiveness and have been there for quite a while, it is NEVER too late to tell God you are READY to get OFF of that road! God is the God of reconciliation! Look at Luke 15 - We have the parable of the lost sheep, the lost coin, the lost (prodigal) son all right there together. God is saying to us "Come back! Jump on MY path! It's not too late! Don't go down that path - that path is DEATH! Come to ME you who are weary! (Matt 11:28)"
How do we start back to the right path, to God's path? First, Satan wants to keep us on that wrong path, the anger path, so he will try to do everything he can to keep us in that anger and bitterness. There will be true spiritual warfare, battle through your mind, for Satan to try to keep you on that path. This means that you will have to PRAY, PRAY, PRAY and be IN THE WORD, reading the TRUTH, the Bible! You cannot get to the other path on your own. You can only do it through the power of the Holy Spirit within you. And you will probably have to DAILY "take your thoughts captive to Christ." Do not let Satan fool you into thinking that this is anything less than a battle for your mind. 2Corinthians 10:3-5 says "For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." This sure sounds like a battle to me! And it sure sounds like I'd better start fighting! DAILY!
It really is a daily struggle to walk on this path of life and light. Daily Satan will shoot "fiery darts" at you, trying to wound you, trying to put you back on the path of bitterness and anger (Ephesians 6:16). He will replay thoughts, conversations, instances, situations, etc. in your head, all "justifying" your anger and unforgiveness. This is where you will have to "demolish" every one of those arguments and "take captive" every thought, making it "obedient to Christ." Again, making a choice whether to give in and lie down on the battlefield, or stand up for yourself and your kids and say "No more!"
So how do we begin? In the Divorce Care workbook, there is a "process" - I started this process a few years ago and I am STILL experiencing it day by day, but I can tell you that I am MILES further down my road of forgiveness than when I began - and the FREEDOM I have is significant and life-giving!
The first step = "Ask God to forgive ME" - We need to confess to God if we are holding onto bitterness and unforgiveness because, if so, we are holding on to something that belongs ONLY to God (Deut 32:35, Psalm 51:4) and is NOT our realm of responsibility.
The second step = "Transfer the hurts and offenses that I have been carrying" - Lord, these sins of this person are too heavy for me to bear. I give them to you as YOUR property. Take these offenses and nail them to the cross. Take these offenses from my mind, from my heart- I've had enough and I don't want to bear them any more. Please take them from me so that I can move forward, unhindered, unbound.
The third step = "Turn the other person over to God" - Give the Lord ownership of the person who has hurt you. Pray that God would put HIS hand and HIS judgment over that person and then you LET GO. Trust in the Lord, the righteous judge, to deal with that person justly. You may never "see" this justice in your lifetime - you may never see this person "pay" according to YOUR standards, but by letting it go and giving it over to the Lord, on His altar, you are performing an act of FAITH in HIS Lordship and He WILL honor your faith!
All of this may be old news to some of you or for others it may be very hard to read. You may be thinking "Heck no I'm not forgiving that person! Do you know what they did to me and what they continue to do every day???" No, I don't know and really nobody knows but you and God. So don't argue with me about whether you should forgive that person or not. Take your question to God. He already knows what is in your heart anyway, so why not talk to Him about it? Ask Him RIGHT NOW to show you His will for your freedom, for letting go of anger and bitterness. Ask Him to show you how to forgive, how and where to start the battle. He DESIRES freedom for you (Luke 4:18). This freedom is part of His will, His plan for you. If you ASK Him to help you find this freedom, He WILL answer and guide you (1 John 5:14-15). And, after you ask Him, then you must follow James 1:22, "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says."!!! Even if you are not there yet, the Lord will honor your obedience in simply asking Him to HELP you get there!
Lord, you say that with faith the size of a mustard seed I can move mountains (Matt 17:20). Lord, I give this mustard seed, the size of the tip of a pin, to you. This tiny bit of faith that I can forgive. This tiny mustard seed of forgiveness that I have, I give it to you Lord. Grow it Father with the Light of Your Holy Spirit within me. Water it Lord with the Living Waters of Your Word. Father, I want healing. I need Your healing. Show me Lord the path to healing and forgiveness and guide my feet down this path, closer and closer to You. Open my ears to hear you and my heart to obey you. Teach me Your ways, Lord. Remind me each day Lord to take my thoughts captive and make them obedient to Christ. Every thought, every attack, every phone call, every E-mail that is false and hurtful and sets itself up against your Truth - remind me to take it captive to You so that NOTHING will hinder my walk with you and my relationship with You. I love you Lord and I cry out to you for Your help, that I can grow closer to You each day and fight against all weapons that seek to pull me away from you. In Jesus' name Amen!"
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Oh Me Of Little Faith
(Please Note: All hi-lited passages in this post provide links to the appropriate site or Scripture referenced)
The other night, I was watching Joyce Meyer on TV and I was thinking "If only I had faith and wisdom like Joyce Meyer..." After the show was over, this line of thought continued, going nowhere but in a downward spiral of course, with me obsessing about how "amazing" Joyce is and how I could "never" be the amazing godly woman that she is.
Then the Lord said to me: "The Spirit within Joyce Meyer is the SAME SPIRIT I have given you (1 Cor 12:11) - So why would you think she has power that you are unable to access through My Spirit within you?"
This may be a "duh" thing for everyone else out there and maybe I am the densest person in the world, but this was ground-breaking for me. I mean I always knew that those who are believers each have the Holy Spirit but I guess I just never thought too deeply about the amount of power within each of us being the same, by the same Spirit, and what this means for ME. I "knew" it, but I wasn't LIVING it!
Anyway, I started getting really, REALLY excited about this once I got going with it. In my head, I was thinking through all the "gurus" of the faith that I could and acknowledging that the same Spirit within them is within ME. I was thinking "I have the same Holy Spirit as Billy Graham! I have the same Holy Spirit as Elisabeth Elliot! I have the same Holy Spirit as Beth Moore! Max Lucado! Oswald Chambers! C.S. Lewis! Mother Theresa!"
These people are/were simply human like I am. They are no "better," no more "capable" than I am - they are all just "jars of clay" who the Lord chose to use for His glory "to show that [their] all-surpassing power is from GOD and NOT from [themselves]" (2 Cor 4:6-7)
NOT ONE of these men or women could accomplish ANYTHING that they accomplished apart from the Holy Spirit within them - the same Power that is within me AND within YOU! (John 15:5).
In Ephesians 2:18-22, Paul writes of the Israelites and the Gentiles that through Christ, God "created in Himself one new man out of the two...For through Him we both have access to the Father BY ONE SPIRIT." This same "One Spirit", the Holy Spirit, is the One Spirit who unites us all as children of God and as equal heirs to His blessings through Christ (Gal 3:29). This One Spirit gives each of us different gifts and, although we are all given different gifts, we are told that each one of us (that means YOU too!) ARE given gifts "for the common good" (1 Cor 12:7-11). I may never be a national speaker like Joyce Meyer, as that may not be my particular gift, but I still have access to the same amazing Spiritual Power that lights her up from within - I have access to the same Truth that inspires her, strengthens her, motivates her.
Are you tempted to think that you cannot make it because you are just not "as strong as (insert name of 'great spiritual guru' here)_______?" The same Spirit who made that person "great" is the same Spirit within you, and He WILL empower you if you allow Him to! That person is nothing apart from Christ, and neither are you.
When the Lord appeared to Moses in Exodus and told Moses what He wanted him to do, "Moses said to the LORD, 'O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.' [Then] The LORD said to him, "Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the LORD ? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say." (Ex 4:10-12)
Are you arguing with God that you cannot "handle" your role as a single mom? That you just cannot walk the road in front of you right now? If so, you, like Moses, are by NO means the first one God has had this "argument" with - so don't beat yourself up - Instead, listen to His Answers! What is He saying in His Word to us and to all the others who have "argued" with Him in the past?
He is saying to you, like He has said to those before you: "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because [of the world around you], for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." (Deut 31:6)
Is this not the same message, in different words, that He gave to all of His people throughout the Bible? He patiently listened to their protests that they "could not do it" and then He gently showed them that they COULD do whatever He called them to, by His Power within them.
Is this not the same message that Jesus left with His disciples shortly before His death when He said "The Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and DO NOT be afraid....In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world..."(John 14:25-27, John 16:33)
You are NOT alone, struggling to "survive" - As David says of the Lord, "You hem me in—behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me." (Psalm 139:5) Your Father has also "hemmed" YOU in - He is before you and behind you, He has His hand on you, He is within you and HE is your HOPE (2 Thess 2:15-17).
Remember Moses in Exodus 4 saying "I can't do it Lord!!"? Well, now skip ahead to Exodus 15:2 and look at the NEW SONG Moses sings to the Lord : "The LORD is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation. He is my God, and I will praise him, my father's God, and I will exalt him." (Exodus 15:2)
The same Lord who put this new song in Moses' heart is the Lord who is within YOU and can put a new song in YOUR heart. He is within ME and will put a new song in MY heart. He is within all those who have "survived" before us. And now we, too, can stop arguing with God and instead "sing to the Lord a new song...praising Him...proclaiming His salvation...declaring His glory..."(Psalm 96:1-3)
Yes, Lord - I WANT to sing a new song to You - Forgive me, Lord that I took my eyes off of You and Your Power within me and I have been looking only to myself. I am weak, but you are strong Lord. I can do NOTHING apart from You Lord - Lead me, guide me, hold me - let me walk in Your POWER through the blood of your Son - In Jesus' Name
"Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take [this burden] away from me. But The Lord said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." (2 Cor 12:8-10)
The other night, I was watching Joyce Meyer on TV and I was thinking "If only I had faith and wisdom like Joyce Meyer..." After the show was over, this line of thought continued, going nowhere but in a downward spiral of course, with me obsessing about how "amazing" Joyce is and how I could "never" be the amazing godly woman that she is.
Then the Lord said to me: "The Spirit within Joyce Meyer is the SAME SPIRIT I have given you (1 Cor 12:11) - So why would you think she has power that you are unable to access through My Spirit within you?"
This may be a "duh" thing for everyone else out there and maybe I am the densest person in the world, but this was ground-breaking for me. I mean I always knew that those who are believers each have the Holy Spirit but I guess I just never thought too deeply about the amount of power within each of us being the same, by the same Spirit, and what this means for ME. I "knew" it, but I wasn't LIVING it!
Anyway, I started getting really, REALLY excited about this once I got going with it. In my head, I was thinking through all the "gurus" of the faith that I could and acknowledging that the same Spirit within them is within ME. I was thinking "I have the same Holy Spirit as Billy Graham! I have the same Holy Spirit as Elisabeth Elliot! I have the same Holy Spirit as Beth Moore! Max Lucado! Oswald Chambers! C.S. Lewis! Mother Theresa!"
These people are/were simply human like I am. They are no "better," no more "capable" than I am - they are all just "jars of clay" who the Lord chose to use for His glory "to show that [their] all-surpassing power is from GOD and NOT from [themselves]" (2 Cor 4:6-7)
NOT ONE of these men or women could accomplish ANYTHING that they accomplished apart from the Holy Spirit within them - the same Power that is within me AND within YOU! (John 15:5).
In Ephesians 2:18-22, Paul writes of the Israelites and the Gentiles that through Christ, God "created in Himself one new man out of the two...For through Him we both have access to the Father BY ONE SPIRIT." This same "One Spirit", the Holy Spirit, is the One Spirit who unites us all as children of God and as equal heirs to His blessings through Christ (Gal 3:29). This One Spirit gives each of us different gifts and, although we are all given different gifts, we are told that each one of us (that means YOU too!) ARE given gifts "for the common good" (1 Cor 12:7-11). I may never be a national speaker like Joyce Meyer, as that may not be my particular gift, but I still have access to the same amazing Spiritual Power that lights her up from within - I have access to the same Truth that inspires her, strengthens her, motivates her.
Are you tempted to think that you cannot make it because you are just not "as strong as (insert name of 'great spiritual guru' here)_______?" The same Spirit who made that person "great" is the same Spirit within you, and He WILL empower you if you allow Him to! That person is nothing apart from Christ, and neither are you.
When the Lord appeared to Moses in Exodus and told Moses what He wanted him to do, "Moses said to the LORD, 'O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.' [Then] The LORD said to him, "Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the LORD ? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say." (Ex 4:10-12)
Are you arguing with God that you cannot "handle" your role as a single mom? That you just cannot walk the road in front of you right now? If so, you, like Moses, are by NO means the first one God has had this "argument" with - so don't beat yourself up - Instead, listen to His Answers! What is He saying in His Word to us and to all the others who have "argued" with Him in the past?
He is saying to you, like He has said to those before you: "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because [of the world around you], for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." (Deut 31:6)
Is this not the same message, in different words, that He gave to all of His people throughout the Bible? He patiently listened to their protests that they "could not do it" and then He gently showed them that they COULD do whatever He called them to, by His Power within them.
Is this not the same message that Jesus left with His disciples shortly before His death when He said "The Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and DO NOT be afraid....In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world..."(John 14:25-27, John 16:33)
You are NOT alone, struggling to "survive" - As David says of the Lord, "You hem me in—behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me." (Psalm 139:5) Your Father has also "hemmed" YOU in - He is before you and behind you, He has His hand on you, He is within you and HE is your HOPE (2 Thess 2:15-17).
Remember Moses in Exodus 4 saying "I can't do it Lord!!"? Well, now skip ahead to Exodus 15:2 and look at the NEW SONG Moses sings to the Lord : "The LORD is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation. He is my God, and I will praise him, my father's God, and I will exalt him." (Exodus 15:2)
The same Lord who put this new song in Moses' heart is the Lord who is within YOU and can put a new song in YOUR heart. He is within ME and will put a new song in MY heart. He is within all those who have "survived" before us. And now we, too, can stop arguing with God and instead "sing to the Lord a new song...praising Him...proclaiming His salvation...declaring His glory..."(Psalm 96:1-3)
Yes, Lord - I WANT to sing a new song to You - Forgive me, Lord that I took my eyes off of You and Your Power within me and I have been looking only to myself. I am weak, but you are strong Lord. I can do NOTHING apart from You Lord - Lead me, guide me, hold me - let me walk in Your POWER through the blood of your Son - In Jesus' Name
"Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take [this burden] away from me. But The Lord said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." (2 Cor 12:8-10)
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
The Blame Game - YOU supply the batteries!
(Please note: Hi-lited passages are links to the appropriate sites or Scriptures referenced.)
For a long time during the divorce, I struggled intensely with depression and fear that would just come and go, so much so that I felt like I would throw up from "motion sickness". I was up and down, up and down, up and down. The depression was not due so much to losing a great love with a former partner, because that love had been gone for years, destroyed by addiction. The depression was due moreso to the fact that not only had I lost everything I had dreamed of having since I was a little girl (the fairy-tale happily-ever-after) but then I had also lost the cardboard house and flimsy walls of protection that I had built for myself within a lost marriage. That just added insult to injury! I thought that even if the marriage was over, I should at least be allowed to keep my cardboard box and keep SOME semblance of being "like everybody else" with my picket fence and my "happy face."
With divorce papers signed, I had to finally admit that the "work of my life" for the last 6 years - trying to hold everything together by a thread - had failed. I had to admit that "my way" of doing it just wasn't going to cut it this time. The game was over. The time bomb had finally blown up and now I had no idea what I would do without my self-created world around me to give me protection.
It was pretty insulting, really. I thought I had done a pretty good job of building little sand walls to keep the house running "smoothly", keep the bills paid, keep the outside world from knowing all of the "dirty little secrets." I didn't understand why those walls couldn't just stay in place. I had very craftily, very methodically built them.
I thought that if I just successfully convinced myself that FP really meant it this time when he said he'd go to counseling and that he was "getting help," that surely he would have to go....eventually....right? Or, if I just prayed harder, God would deliver him. If I just "had more faith," God would "answer" my prayers, If I just wasn't so tired he would want to be home more and not off doing "other stuff." If I was just a better wife, he wouldn't need other distractions to fill his emptiness. If I had just lost that post-pregnancy weight faster and "looked cute" all the time, he wouldn't need to look at other women. If I just kept the house cleaner and the kids quieter, he would want to spend more time with us. If I was better at communicating, he wouldn't "have" to lie all the time. If I... If I... If I.....
Sound familiar?
I must have bought and read every book on the market during my marriage to "improve myself" and to control my marriage. Every women's conference on marriage, I was at the sign-up table. Every women's bible study on marriage, I was in the front row taking notes. Each time I heard something new, then this was "the trick" that would finally "help him" and make everything okay.
Oh, LORD - THANK YOU for DELIVERING me from this endless, exhausting, going-nowhere gerbil wheel that I was running on!!!! And Lord, please don't EVER let me get back on it again - whatever you have to do to block my path Lord - change ME Lord so that I never try to change someone else again and never take responsibility on myself for THEIR actions again!
Even after the unknown extent of FP's addiction finally blew up and the crap hit the fan, I STILL blamed myself for "not seeing all the red flags." I knew that he had "problems" and wasn't home much and spent the night away and money was missing, but surely that didn't mean _____, did it? Then, when I found out all the secrets that I had "missed," I beat myself up for being so stupid and "naieve" - so even that was my fault too.
And it didn't help that FP was there to constantly remind me that yes, it really WAS my fault. He was quick to remind me that I should have gotten him help sooner, I should have gone to counseling one more time, I should have believed him that 4th and last time he said he would quit, I should believe him that it "wasn't really adultery" because he loved me, not them, I should have believed him that the money wasn't really "stolen" because he was going to pay it back all along! I was also told that forgiveness meant forgetting and how could I really call myself a Christian if I couldn't just forget what had happened? And, being the co-dependent that I was, I believed all of it.
In her book Co-Dependent No More (which I HIGHLY recommend), Melodie Beattie writes:
[Co-dependent partners of addicts or abusers] are controlling because everything around and inside them is out of control. Always, the dam of their lives...threatened to burst and spew harmful consequences on everyone. And nobody seemed to notice or care...[they are] people who thought they were going crazy because they had believed so many lies they didn't know what reality was...[they] felt responsible for so much because the people around them felt responsible for so little; they were just taking up the slack...[The codependents - those involved with addicts] hurt as much or more [than the addict] because they have gone through the pain without the anesthetizing effects of alcohol or other drugs, or the other "high" states achieved by people with compulsive disorders...The chemically (or otherwise) dependent addict/partner numbs the feelings while the non-abuser is doubled over in pain...they are this way sober, because they went through what they did [surviving life with the addict] sober."
When you read the above, does it sound familiar? Are you nodding your head?
Satan wants you to think you are alone in feeling this way - that your circumstances are isolated and "no one understands". Sadly, as I've found, there are far too many who DO understand. There are far too many who leave their house with their "happy face" on, hoping the world doesn't see what is really hidden behind it all. Satan also wants you to think, like he tricked me into believing for a while, that those years we partners spent doing everything we could "to hold it all together" were in vain and no good, lost forever, wasted. As one counselor put it "You think you had a failed marriage and now a failed divorce". "Failure, failure failure" Satan is chanting, dancing circles around us.
But this is not what Our Father is singing to us - He is singing a different song -
He says DO NOT grow weary while doing what is good and right, for in time we WILL reap a harvest for doing what is right (Gal 6:9). He assures us that His eyes are everywhere, keeping watch over what is evil AND what is good (Prov 15:3). We are not failures - we are victorious because we are women of FAITH -"...for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world? Only he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God" (1 John 5:4-5). We survived the hell we lived in because we had faith - faith that it would get better, faith that the addict would change, faith that we could "make" it work - Now that you are freed, let God take that enormous amount of faith that you have to have had to survive life with an addict and let Your Father turn it back to faith in HIM and HIS strength, for HIS glory!
Those years were NOT wasted - NOTHING is "wasted" with God! Those years are years that you spent making choices about whether to fish or cut bait, whether to hang in or jump ship. And God will reward your faithfulness. He will restore to you what has been stolen from you from the "lost" time Satan wants to tell you is lost forever - That time is NOT Lost (Joel 2:24-26)!
God WILL restore that stolen time to you AND rebuild what has been torn down; and not only will He rebuild it, but it will be far better than that cardboard box you tried to build- HIS city He re-builds for you will be gorgeous, covered in jewels, unbelievable! (Is 54:10-17).
He says to you, "Daughter", now it is time to "rise up", to "shake off the dust" from the explosion, to "put on garments of splendor" and that He WILL redeem you who were "sold for nothing" (Is 52:1-3). He is the restorer, the rebuilder and He wants to restore what was stolen from you! (Is 61).
Not only will he restore and rebuild, but He will use what the Enemy tried to hurt you with for greater good (Gen 50:18-20), for HIS glory, and to defeat the Enemy!
What has happened to you, through you, in you during ALL of this - this is YOUR TESTIMONY. And how does God say that we can overcome the Enemy? By the blood of the Lamb AND by the word of OUR testimony (Rev 12:10-11). So why do you think Satan is trying so hard to make you feel like a failure? Because he knows how powerful your testimony is! Don't hide behind "shame" or "failure" -
You ARE victorious and you WILL be used by God to glorify His name, for "God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: 'Let him who boasts boast in the Lord.' "(1 Cor 1:27-31)
Yes, Lord - take all of this death and bring resurrection life into it and make it Yours - For YOUR Glory - Amen!
For a long time during the divorce, I struggled intensely with depression and fear that would just come and go, so much so that I felt like I would throw up from "motion sickness". I was up and down, up and down, up and down. The depression was not due so much to losing a great love with a former partner, because that love had been gone for years, destroyed by addiction. The depression was due moreso to the fact that not only had I lost everything I had dreamed of having since I was a little girl (the fairy-tale happily-ever-after) but then I had also lost the cardboard house and flimsy walls of protection that I had built for myself within a lost marriage. That just added insult to injury! I thought that even if the marriage was over, I should at least be allowed to keep my cardboard box and keep SOME semblance of being "like everybody else" with my picket fence and my "happy face."
With divorce papers signed, I had to finally admit that the "work of my life" for the last 6 years - trying to hold everything together by a thread - had failed. I had to admit that "my way" of doing it just wasn't going to cut it this time. The game was over. The time bomb had finally blown up and now I had no idea what I would do without my self-created world around me to give me protection.
It was pretty insulting, really. I thought I had done a pretty good job of building little sand walls to keep the house running "smoothly", keep the bills paid, keep the outside world from knowing all of the "dirty little secrets." I didn't understand why those walls couldn't just stay in place. I had very craftily, very methodically built them.
I thought that if I just successfully convinced myself that FP really meant it this time when he said he'd go to counseling and that he was "getting help," that surely he would have to go....eventually....right? Or, if I just prayed harder, God would deliver him. If I just "had more faith," God would "answer" my prayers, If I just wasn't so tired he would want to be home more and not off doing "other stuff." If I was just a better wife, he wouldn't need other distractions to fill his emptiness. If I had just lost that post-pregnancy weight faster and "looked cute" all the time, he wouldn't need to look at other women. If I just kept the house cleaner and the kids quieter, he would want to spend more time with us. If I was better at communicating, he wouldn't "have" to lie all the time. If I... If I... If I.....
Sound familiar?
I must have bought and read every book on the market during my marriage to "improve myself" and to control my marriage. Every women's conference on marriage, I was at the sign-up table. Every women's bible study on marriage, I was in the front row taking notes. Each time I heard something new, then this was "the trick" that would finally "help him" and make everything okay.
Oh, LORD - THANK YOU for DELIVERING me from this endless, exhausting, going-nowhere gerbil wheel that I was running on!!!! And Lord, please don't EVER let me get back on it again - whatever you have to do to block my path Lord - change ME Lord so that I never try to change someone else again and never take responsibility on myself for THEIR actions again!
Even after the unknown extent of FP's addiction finally blew up and the crap hit the fan, I STILL blamed myself for "not seeing all the red flags." I knew that he had "problems" and wasn't home much and spent the night away and money was missing, but surely that didn't mean _____, did it? Then, when I found out all the secrets that I had "missed," I beat myself up for being so stupid and "naieve" - so even that was my fault too.
And it didn't help that FP was there to constantly remind me that yes, it really WAS my fault. He was quick to remind me that I should have gotten him help sooner, I should have gone to counseling one more time, I should have believed him that 4th and last time he said he would quit, I should believe him that it "wasn't really adultery" because he loved me, not them, I should have believed him that the money wasn't really "stolen" because he was going to pay it back all along! I was also told that forgiveness meant forgetting and how could I really call myself a Christian if I couldn't just forget what had happened? And, being the co-dependent that I was, I believed all of it.
In her book Co-Dependent No More (which I HIGHLY recommend), Melodie Beattie writes:
[Co-dependent partners of addicts or abusers] are controlling because everything around and inside them is out of control. Always, the dam of their lives...threatened to burst and spew harmful consequences on everyone. And nobody seemed to notice or care...[they are] people who thought they were going crazy because they had believed so many lies they didn't know what reality was...[they] felt responsible for so much because the people around them felt responsible for so little; they were just taking up the slack...[The codependents - those involved with addicts] hurt as much or more [than the addict] because they have gone through the pain without the anesthetizing effects of alcohol or other drugs, or the other "high" states achieved by people with compulsive disorders...The chemically (or otherwise) dependent addict/partner numbs the feelings while the non-abuser is doubled over in pain...they are this way sober, because they went through what they did [surviving life with the addict] sober."
When you read the above, does it sound familiar? Are you nodding your head?
Satan wants you to think you are alone in feeling this way - that your circumstances are isolated and "no one understands". Sadly, as I've found, there are far too many who DO understand. There are far too many who leave their house with their "happy face" on, hoping the world doesn't see what is really hidden behind it all. Satan also wants you to think, like he tricked me into believing for a while, that those years we partners spent doing everything we could "to hold it all together" were in vain and no good, lost forever, wasted. As one counselor put it "You think you had a failed marriage and now a failed divorce". "Failure, failure failure" Satan is chanting, dancing circles around us.
But this is not what Our Father is singing to us - He is singing a different song -
He says DO NOT grow weary while doing what is good and right, for in time we WILL reap a harvest for doing what is right (Gal 6:9). He assures us that His eyes are everywhere, keeping watch over what is evil AND what is good (Prov 15:3). We are not failures - we are victorious because we are women of FAITH -"...for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world? Only he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God" (1 John 5:4-5). We survived the hell we lived in because we had faith - faith that it would get better, faith that the addict would change, faith that we could "make" it work - Now that you are freed, let God take that enormous amount of faith that you have to have had to survive life with an addict and let Your Father turn it back to faith in HIM and HIS strength, for HIS glory!
Those years were NOT wasted - NOTHING is "wasted" with God! Those years are years that you spent making choices about whether to fish or cut bait, whether to hang in or jump ship. And God will reward your faithfulness. He will restore to you what has been stolen from you from the "lost" time Satan wants to tell you is lost forever - That time is NOT Lost (Joel 2:24-26)!
God WILL restore that stolen time to you AND rebuild what has been torn down; and not only will He rebuild it, but it will be far better than that cardboard box you tried to build- HIS city He re-builds for you will be gorgeous, covered in jewels, unbelievable! (Is 54:10-17).
He says to you, "Daughter", now it is time to "rise up", to "shake off the dust" from the explosion, to "put on garments of splendor" and that He WILL redeem you who were "sold for nothing" (Is 52:1-3). He is the restorer, the rebuilder and He wants to restore what was stolen from you! (Is 61).
Not only will he restore and rebuild, but He will use what the Enemy tried to hurt you with for greater good (Gen 50:18-20), for HIS glory, and to defeat the Enemy!
What has happened to you, through you, in you during ALL of this - this is YOUR TESTIMONY. And how does God say that we can overcome the Enemy? By the blood of the Lamb AND by the word of OUR testimony (Rev 12:10-11). So why do you think Satan is trying so hard to make you feel like a failure? Because he knows how powerful your testimony is! Don't hide behind "shame" or "failure" -
You ARE victorious and you WILL be used by God to glorify His name, for "God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: 'Let him who boasts boast in the Lord.' "(1 Cor 1:27-31)
Yes, Lord - take all of this death and bring resurrection life into it and make it Yours - For YOUR Glory - Amen!
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
A Love Letter from Your Father
(Please Note: The passages that are hi-lited are links to the appropriate sites or Scriptures referenced)
To my Dearly Loved Daughter,
I want you to know that I DO love you. I love you so much that even while you were still in sin, I sent my only Son, Jesus, to be a sacrifice for you to show you my love (Rom 5:8, Jn 3:16). I did not do this unwillingly or out of duty but I love you so much that it pleased me to give my Son for your life (Eph 1:4-6). When you accepted my Son, my angels in heaven rejoiced over you (Luke 15:6,10). I love you so much that I chose you to be mine even before the world began to be holy and blameless in my sight (Eph 1:4). I love you so much that I have blessed you in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ (Ephesians 1:3). I love you so much that when you accepted my Son, Jesus, I gave you my Spirit (Jn 7:39; Acts 5:32; Romans 5:5; Romans 8:11; 1 Cor 2:12; 2 Cor 5:5; 1 Thess 4:8; 1 Jn 4:13) and I want you to be filled with My Spirit (Eph 5:18). I gave you my Spirit NOT because of anything you ever did or will do; but because I love you and because you have believed and received what you have heard about my Son (Gal 3:5). I give you my Spirit of wisdom and revelation that you may know me better , so please seek to know Me more (Eph 1:17). I give you my Spirit so that you have freedom from bondage and oppression - so live in light of this freedom you are given! (2 Cor 3:17). You have been given freedom through my Son, Jesus, and so you are free indeed (Gal 2:4, Jn 8:36). You HAVE been set free; do NOT be fooled into putting on a foreign yoke of slavery and an oppressed spirit that does not belong on you (Gal 5:1)!!
You ARE my precious daughter; by my Spirit in you, you are allowed to call me Abba, Daddy! (Romans 8:15, Galatians 4:6). This means you are my child and I love you. You are also my wife and I am your husband (Isaiah 54:5; Isaiah 62:5; Ephesians 5:31-32). I love you in so many different, vast, immeasurable ways that My love for you even surpasses all knowledge (Eph 3:17-19).
I will take care of you and meet your every need if you will just trust in me (Phil 4:19) and I WANT to do this; I want to give good gifts to you (Luke 11:11-13). You know that you love your own children and would do anything for them; how much more do you think that I love you (Luke 11:13)?
My child, be careful and cautious – be on the lookout because there is the evil one in the world who does not want you to know or believe these things. He prowls about like a lion, seeking to destroy you (1 Peter 5:8-9). He wants to blind you to my Truth and make you think I do not love you (2 Cor 4:4). Your fight is not against other people in the world, but against your Enemy Satan who has deceived those people; you have to resist him and fight him with the armor I have given you (Ephesians 6:11-12). He will attack you with arguments, reasonings, theories, and through your thoughts, but you have power to throw down these arguments and take these thoughts captive (2 Cor 10:3-5). You can fight him the way my Son did in the wilderness - by speaking my Truth that I have given you and saying "It is Written" (Matt 4:3-8). You will no longer be tossed back and forth by Satan when you know the Truth and you speak the Truth (Eph 4:14-15). This is why I have given you armor to stand strong against Satan and in this armor is my Word (Eph 6:13-18). Study my Word and hide it in your heart (Psalm 119:11). Speak my Word out loud for your faith comes by hearing the message and the message is heard through the word of Christ (Romans 10:17). If you continue in my Word, you will know the Truth and the Truth will set you free (Jn 8:31-36).
When you read my Word and study it, then you WILL KNOW that the Truth is that I love you. The truth is that you are my child. The truth is that any condemnation you feel is not from me, but from the enemy, for there is now NO condemnation for you, my child through Christ (Romans 8:1). Do not let Satan deceive you in this.
If there is a yoke on you right now that hurts and destroys and is making you tired and heavy-laden, it is a foreign yoke; it is not from me! Throw it off and take on MY yoke, which is easy and light! For I am gentle and humble in heart and my yoke will give you rest for your soul (Matthew 11:28-30). There are times that the enemy wants you to hate yourself and to remember all of your mistakes; but you must remember that you are no longer who you were; you are crucified in Christ and you no longer live in that flesh that the enemy wants to condemn - but now Christ, your hope of glory, lives in you and this is all that I see when I look at you as you are now clothed in Christ (Gal 2:20, Gal 3:26-28)! Your life is now hidden with Christ (Coloss 3:3) You can thus BOLDLY approach my throne with confidence, not shamed and not condemned, because of my Son (Hebrews 4:16). When I looked on my Son, I said “This is my son whom I love; with Him I am well pleased” (Matt 3:17). You are also my child, adopted through His blood and co-heir to all that I give Him and to share in His glory (Romans 8:17). With you, who are now clothed in Christ, I am well pleased.
I want you to remember that I have promised you: neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will ever be able to separate you from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus your Lord (Romans 8:38). There are times you will not believe this and that the enemy will try to blind you. That is why you must abide in my Word, for that will strengthen your faith. Then you can trust in my Word, which you know is true, and walk by faith and not by what you “see” or “feel” (2 Cor 5:7). You can NOT move forward based on sight or feelings - for faith is being SURE of what you HOPE for and CERTAIN of what you DO NOT SEE (Hebrews 11:1).
I love you, Daughter. Keep seeking me, for those who seek me find me (Deut 4:29, Jer 29:13, Matt 7:7-8, Luke 11:9-10, Acts 17:27).
Your Father.
To my Dearly Loved Daughter,
I want you to know that I DO love you. I love you so much that even while you were still in sin, I sent my only Son, Jesus, to be a sacrifice for you to show you my love (Rom 5:8, Jn 3:16). I did not do this unwillingly or out of duty but I love you so much that it pleased me to give my Son for your life (Eph 1:4-6). When you accepted my Son, my angels in heaven rejoiced over you (Luke 15:6,10). I love you so much that I chose you to be mine even before the world began to be holy and blameless in my sight (Eph 1:4). I love you so much that I have blessed you in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ (Ephesians 1:3). I love you so much that when you accepted my Son, Jesus, I gave you my Spirit (Jn 7:39; Acts 5:32; Romans 5:5; Romans 8:11; 1 Cor 2:12; 2 Cor 5:5; 1 Thess 4:8; 1 Jn 4:13) and I want you to be filled with My Spirit (Eph 5:18). I gave you my Spirit NOT because of anything you ever did or will do; but because I love you and because you have believed and received what you have heard about my Son (Gal 3:5). I give you my Spirit of wisdom and revelation that you may know me better , so please seek to know Me more (Eph 1:17). I give you my Spirit so that you have freedom from bondage and oppression - so live in light of this freedom you are given! (2 Cor 3:17). You have been given freedom through my Son, Jesus, and so you are free indeed (Gal 2:4, Jn 8:36). You HAVE been set free; do NOT be fooled into putting on a foreign yoke of slavery and an oppressed spirit that does not belong on you (Gal 5:1)!!
You ARE my precious daughter; by my Spirit in you, you are allowed to call me Abba, Daddy! (Romans 8:15, Galatians 4:6). This means you are my child and I love you. You are also my wife and I am your husband (Isaiah 54:5; Isaiah 62:5; Ephesians 5:31-32). I love you in so many different, vast, immeasurable ways that My love for you even surpasses all knowledge (Eph 3:17-19).
I will take care of you and meet your every need if you will just trust in me (Phil 4:19) and I WANT to do this; I want to give good gifts to you (Luke 11:11-13). You know that you love your own children and would do anything for them; how much more do you think that I love you (Luke 11:13)?
My child, be careful and cautious – be on the lookout because there is the evil one in the world who does not want you to know or believe these things. He prowls about like a lion, seeking to destroy you (1 Peter 5:8-9). He wants to blind you to my Truth and make you think I do not love you (2 Cor 4:4). Your fight is not against other people in the world, but against your Enemy Satan who has deceived those people; you have to resist him and fight him with the armor I have given you (Ephesians 6:11-12). He will attack you with arguments, reasonings, theories, and through your thoughts, but you have power to throw down these arguments and take these thoughts captive (2 Cor 10:3-5). You can fight him the way my Son did in the wilderness - by speaking my Truth that I have given you and saying "It is Written" (Matt 4:3-8). You will no longer be tossed back and forth by Satan when you know the Truth and you speak the Truth (Eph 4:14-15). This is why I have given you armor to stand strong against Satan and in this armor is my Word (Eph 6:13-18). Study my Word and hide it in your heart (Psalm 119:11). Speak my Word out loud for your faith comes by hearing the message and the message is heard through the word of Christ (Romans 10:17). If you continue in my Word, you will know the Truth and the Truth will set you free (Jn 8:31-36).
When you read my Word and study it, then you WILL KNOW that the Truth is that I love you. The truth is that you are my child. The truth is that any condemnation you feel is not from me, but from the enemy, for there is now NO condemnation for you, my child through Christ (Romans 8:1). Do not let Satan deceive you in this.
If there is a yoke on you right now that hurts and destroys and is making you tired and heavy-laden, it is a foreign yoke; it is not from me! Throw it off and take on MY yoke, which is easy and light! For I am gentle and humble in heart and my yoke will give you rest for your soul (Matthew 11:28-30). There are times that the enemy wants you to hate yourself and to remember all of your mistakes; but you must remember that you are no longer who you were; you are crucified in Christ and you no longer live in that flesh that the enemy wants to condemn - but now Christ, your hope of glory, lives in you and this is all that I see when I look at you as you are now clothed in Christ (Gal 2:20, Gal 3:26-28)! Your life is now hidden with Christ (Coloss 3:3) You can thus BOLDLY approach my throne with confidence, not shamed and not condemned, because of my Son (Hebrews 4:16). When I looked on my Son, I said “This is my son whom I love; with Him I am well pleased” (Matt 3:17). You are also my child, adopted through His blood and co-heir to all that I give Him and to share in His glory (Romans 8:17). With you, who are now clothed in Christ, I am well pleased.
I want you to remember that I have promised you: neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will ever be able to separate you from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus your Lord (Romans 8:38). There are times you will not believe this and that the enemy will try to blind you. That is why you must abide in my Word, for that will strengthen your faith. Then you can trust in my Word, which you know is true, and walk by faith and not by what you “see” or “feel” (2 Cor 5:7). You can NOT move forward based on sight or feelings - for faith is being SURE of what you HOPE for and CERTAIN of what you DO NOT SEE (Hebrews 11:1).
I love you, Daughter. Keep seeking me, for those who seek me find me (Deut 4:29, Jer 29:13, Matt 7:7-8, Luke 11:9-10, Acts 17:27).
Your Father.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Never Thirst Again
(Please note: All hi-lited passages are links to the appropriate sites or Scriptures referenced)
Sometimes when I am praying or even when I am asleep, God will give me a "word" - literally one word - and, when I go to look up the word, it will just speak to me about where God wants me or something He wants me to know about Himself. A few months ago, I had been praying about some anxiety I was having and "helplessness" that I was feeling. One night during all of this, I had a very vivid dream and God gave me the word "Siloam". I had no earthly idea what this meant, so I started pulling out every Bible reference book I have like "Places in the Bible", "People in the Bible," my Bible dictionaries, etc., and this is what I found:
Siloam – "The pool of Siloam is fed by a conduit...which takes its start from the so-called Virgin 's Spring...The Virgin's Spring is the only spring of fresh water in the immediate neighborhood of Jerusalem, and in time of siege it was important that while the enemy should be deprived of access to it, its waters should be made available for those who were within the city...the spring itself could be covered with masonry, so that it could be 'sealed' in case of war...A natural siphon from an underground basin accounts for [the Spring's] flow" (Taken from Unger's Bible Dictionary, 1977 ed.).
Basically, Siloam was a protected stream that flowed into Jerusalem, and it was the only water source guaranteed to remain pure if the people within its walls were attacked from the outside.
Siloam is where Jesus told the blind man to go and wash the clay from his eyes in order to receive healing and it is also thought by Bible scholars to be from this stream that Jesus held the water up in the cup at the Feast of Tabernacles and said “ If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink. He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water (John 7:37-38).” (According to Peloubet's Bible Dictionary, 1947 ed.)
So what do I think this means to me? After praying about Siloam and studying the Word, I believe that God was telling me that my "helplessness," my anxieties and my fears, were obviously not from Him and were not in accordance with His Truth. The true underlying problem is that I was not in the Word at the time but I was existing on my own strength; I was in a "dry spell" and not drinking from "the living water." I was spiritually dehydrated, dying of thirst, and the Lord was gently, lovingly calling me back to His Living Water where my soul could be renewed and refilled. The Israelites were warned of the dangers of this self-inflicted dehydration in Isaiah 8:6 where The Lord says "Because my people have rejected the gently flowing waters of Shiloah (another name for Siloam)....I will [bring waters that are not so gentle into their lives!]"
In contrast to living with our tongues hanging out, panting for help, Jeremiah 17:13 says that the Lord IS "the spring of living water." In John 4:10, Jesus tells the woman at the well that if she would only ask Him, He would give her the "living water." And lastly, in Revelation 7:17, there is a precious verse for those dealing with depression and sadness: "The Lamb...will lead them to springs of living water. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes" (I used to pray this verse over myself when crying and it always brought me peace).
So how do I practically gain access to this "living water" during my day to day life and during those times of hope and fear? First, I can cry out to the source and confess that through Christ in me, I AM filled with the Living Water, if I would only take His cup and drink from it. Jesus said "For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened" (Matt 7:8). Ask Him for His living water, and it is yours to drink, to GULP! It flows through you through His Spirit. It never runs empty or dry! The Amplified Bible describes Siloam as "the only perennial fountain of Jerusalem, and symbolic of God's protection and sustaining power" (Isaiah 8:6). In Isaiah 58:9-12, the Lord says that if you cry out to Him and follow His Word, then "The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail." I would much rather be this "well-watered garden...[whose] waters never fail" than to be the dried up, weed-choked mess that I was before crying out to the Lord and drinking from HIS Waters - wouldn't you?? Jeremiah 17:7-8 says that when we trust in the Lord, we will be "like a tree planted by the water...it does not fear when heat comes...It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit." Where are you planted? Are you planted by the living water? Are you bearing fruit even in a time of drought? If not, examine your roots to see if you need to be dug up and re-planted!
After crying out to God and starting back on the right path to hydration, we can STAY hydrated by daily drinking the "Living Water" straight from His Word. John 1:1 says, "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." God is the Word and the Word is God. God is the Living Water and The Word is the fountain of Living Water from which we can drink and hydrate our souls. If you immerse yourself in it, The Lord can bathe you in His Word! Eph 5:25-27 says that Christ so loves the church that He cleanses and sanctifies His church "by the washing of water with the Word." Douse yourself in His Word, study it day and night, meditate on it so that, as Psalm 1:2-3 says, you may be "like a tree firmly planted [and tended] by the streams of water, ready to bring forth its fruit in its season."
Lastly, DO NOT MISS the so-beautiful fact mentioned in Unger's Bible Dictionary that the pool of Siloam, the waters Jesus held up in His cup at the Feast, were waters famously protected from outside enemies during times of war. What does this mean to me? When I am attacked from all sides by Satan and his "demonic forces", my ultimate Source, my "Living Water" through Christ in me, hope of glory and through the Word of God, sharper than any double-edged sword, is IMPENETRABLE by the Enemy! I can drink from this fountain all day long without fear of it being polluted by my Enemy. It is my only True Source of Hope!
Even though you may be "in a time of drought," as described in Jeremiah 17, you DO NOT have to have "fear...worries... failing to bear fruit..." as long as you are "planted" by the Living Waters(Jer 17:7-8). Even though you may feel forsaken, rejected, and despised by men like the woman at the well, you too can simply ask Jesus for His Living Water (John 4:10) and never thirst again. And even though you may feel crippled, blinded and unable to see where to go, You like the blind man in John 9, can go and wash your eyes in the Living Waters and then proclaim "I once was blind but NOW I SEE!"
I praise you Lord for Your Living Waters, I will proclaim your praise, for You ARE "Making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland. [You] provide water in the desert and streams in the wasteland, to give drink to [Your] people, [Your] chosen, the people [You] formed for [Yourself] that [we] may proclaim [Your] praise" (Isaiah 43:19-21).
Amen, Amen, AMEN!!
Sometimes when I am praying or even when I am asleep, God will give me a "word" - literally one word - and, when I go to look up the word, it will just speak to me about where God wants me or something He wants me to know about Himself. A few months ago, I had been praying about some anxiety I was having and "helplessness" that I was feeling. One night during all of this, I had a very vivid dream and God gave me the word "Siloam". I had no earthly idea what this meant, so I started pulling out every Bible reference book I have like "Places in the Bible", "People in the Bible," my Bible dictionaries, etc., and this is what I found:
Siloam – "The pool of Siloam is fed by a conduit...which takes its start from the so-called Virgin 's Spring...The Virgin's Spring is the only spring of fresh water in the immediate neighborhood of Jerusalem, and in time of siege it was important that while the enemy should be deprived of access to it, its waters should be made available for those who were within the city...the spring itself could be covered with masonry, so that it could be 'sealed' in case of war...A natural siphon from an underground basin accounts for [the Spring's] flow" (Taken from Unger's Bible Dictionary, 1977 ed.).
Basically, Siloam was a protected stream that flowed into Jerusalem, and it was the only water source guaranteed to remain pure if the people within its walls were attacked from the outside.
Siloam is where Jesus told the blind man to go and wash the clay from his eyes in order to receive healing and it is also thought by Bible scholars to be from this stream that Jesus held the water up in the cup at the Feast of Tabernacles and said “ If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink. He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water (John 7:37-38).” (According to Peloubet's Bible Dictionary, 1947 ed.)
So what do I think this means to me? After praying about Siloam and studying the Word, I believe that God was telling me that my "helplessness," my anxieties and my fears, were obviously not from Him and were not in accordance with His Truth. The true underlying problem is that I was not in the Word at the time but I was existing on my own strength; I was in a "dry spell" and not drinking from "the living water." I was spiritually dehydrated, dying of thirst, and the Lord was gently, lovingly calling me back to His Living Water where my soul could be renewed and refilled. The Israelites were warned of the dangers of this self-inflicted dehydration in Isaiah 8:6 where The Lord says "Because my people have rejected the gently flowing waters of Shiloah (another name for Siloam)....I will [bring waters that are not so gentle into their lives!]"
In contrast to living with our tongues hanging out, panting for help, Jeremiah 17:13 says that the Lord IS "the spring of living water." In John 4:10, Jesus tells the woman at the well that if she would only ask Him, He would give her the "living water." And lastly, in Revelation 7:17, there is a precious verse for those dealing with depression and sadness: "The Lamb...will lead them to springs of living water. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes" (I used to pray this verse over myself when crying and it always brought me peace).
So how do I practically gain access to this "living water" during my day to day life and during those times of hope and fear? First, I can cry out to the source and confess that through Christ in me, I AM filled with the Living Water, if I would only take His cup and drink from it. Jesus said "For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened" (Matt 7:8). Ask Him for His living water, and it is yours to drink, to GULP! It flows through you through His Spirit. It never runs empty or dry! The Amplified Bible describes Siloam as "the only perennial fountain of Jerusalem, and symbolic of God's protection and sustaining power" (Isaiah 8:6). In Isaiah 58:9-12, the Lord says that if you cry out to Him and follow His Word, then "The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail." I would much rather be this "well-watered garden...[whose] waters never fail" than to be the dried up, weed-choked mess that I was before crying out to the Lord and drinking from HIS Waters - wouldn't you?? Jeremiah 17:7-8 says that when we trust in the Lord, we will be "like a tree planted by the water...it does not fear when heat comes...It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit." Where are you planted? Are you planted by the living water? Are you bearing fruit even in a time of drought? If not, examine your roots to see if you need to be dug up and re-planted!
After crying out to God and starting back on the right path to hydration, we can STAY hydrated by daily drinking the "Living Water" straight from His Word. John 1:1 says, "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." God is the Word and the Word is God. God is the Living Water and The Word is the fountain of Living Water from which we can drink and hydrate our souls. If you immerse yourself in it, The Lord can bathe you in His Word! Eph 5:25-27 says that Christ so loves the church that He cleanses and sanctifies His church "by the washing of water with the Word." Douse yourself in His Word, study it day and night, meditate on it so that, as Psalm 1:2-3 says, you may be "like a tree firmly planted [and tended] by the streams of water, ready to bring forth its fruit in its season."
Lastly, DO NOT MISS the so-beautiful fact mentioned in Unger's Bible Dictionary that the pool of Siloam, the waters Jesus held up in His cup at the Feast, were waters famously protected from outside enemies during times of war. What does this mean to me? When I am attacked from all sides by Satan and his "demonic forces", my ultimate Source, my "Living Water" through Christ in me, hope of glory and through the Word of God, sharper than any double-edged sword, is IMPENETRABLE by the Enemy! I can drink from this fountain all day long without fear of it being polluted by my Enemy. It is my only True Source of Hope!
Even though you may be "in a time of drought," as described in Jeremiah 17, you DO NOT have to have "fear...worries... failing to bear fruit..." as long as you are "planted" by the Living Waters(Jer 17:7-8). Even though you may feel forsaken, rejected, and despised by men like the woman at the well, you too can simply ask Jesus for His Living Water (John 4:10) and never thirst again. And even though you may feel crippled, blinded and unable to see where to go, You like the blind man in John 9, can go and wash your eyes in the Living Waters and then proclaim "I once was blind but NOW I SEE!"
I praise you Lord for Your Living Waters, I will proclaim your praise, for You ARE "Making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland. [You] provide water in the desert and streams in the wasteland, to give drink to [Your] people, [Your] chosen, the people [You] formed for [Yourself] that [we] may proclaim [Your] praise" (Isaiah 43:19-21).
Amen, Amen, AMEN!!
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Marking a Bizarre Milestone
(Note: All of the hi-lited passages are links to the appropriate sites or Scriptures).
One interesting thing I have noticed with divorce is that the "milestones" you end up making in your life and your new family are not quite the milestones you pictured when walking down the aisle all dressed in white. When all is "normal", you think of milestones as : Our first date! Our first kiss! Our first anniversary! etc., etc. Of course "normal" milestones with your children would be : The first tooth! His first steps! Her first words! and so on.
Well, with divorce, this all tends to get a bit strange but it can be kind of "fun" when you learn to laugh about it (which, if you are like me, may take a few years!)
Here are some of my own post-divorce "milestones" (and yes, I can even tell you dates and times sadly enough) :
The first decision I made without questioning my own judgment 100 times (a co-dependent after-effect of life involved with an addict, as many of you can unfortunately relate)!
The first time I stood up for myself on the phone with FP and did not let myself be "blamed" for his addiction and poor choices! The first time I slept a full night without Ambien! The first time I wired my own "home theater" system including dvd, digital box, and surround audio set-up by myself! The first time I re-arranged my whole house (and moved a 400 pound antique armoire) with just myself and a girl-friend and NO BOYS! The first friends' wedding I made it through without crying or chickening out beforehand! The first infant baptism I made it through without crying when the pastor talked about the joy of being "a covenant family", The first Mother's Day I made it through without crying, The first "family Holiday" I made it through without crying! The first time I made it over a month without crying! The first time I realized and felt, down to my toes, the Truth and romance of God as my Husband! The first time God freed me from all depression and anxiety about my divorce!
And then...well...I had another milestone today - THE FIRST TIME I HAVE EVER FORGOTTEN TO SHOW UP AT MY COUNSELING APPOINTMENT!!! WOO HOOOOOOOO! Okay, so, this may seem like a very strange "milestone" but it was actually my very wise, Spirit-led counselor who helped me to see it as a milestone. There I was, standing at work, when my cell phone rang and it was my counselor's office. When I answered, the secretary said "We were just wondering if you were close to the office or not..." and it hit me that I had COMPLETELY forgotten that I had a 1:30 appointment! And I NEVER, NEVER forget my counseling appointments! I apologized profusely and got so flustered that I actually hung up on the secretary. A few minutes later, I called back and she was laughing and put me through to my counselor. I apologized about 50 times to my counselor and this wise, Godly woman said "STOP apologizing; I am so happy for you! This is a huge milestone! We need to celebrate!" I was of course very confused for a minute and then she explained: "When we first started meeting (about a couple of years ago), you used to LIVE for these appointments and you structured everything around us getting together. You never would have forgotten an appointment. The fact that you forgot today tells me that you are healthy, doing well, and you don't 'need' me like you used to. That's awesome!" And you know what? She was exactly right! Praise God! When I first started seeing her, I was meeting with her 2 times each week. Then, slowly, we moved to once a week, then once every other week, then once every 3 weeks, and then once a month. And now, as we discussed on the phone today, I am finally heading toward "graduation!" This is part of my "Joy In The Morning" (Ps 30) that God has brought to me! It is all part of the healing, the joy restored, the scales falling off! Thank you Lord that you ARE The Healer, The Restorer, and You ARE The God of Amazing Milestones (Num 10:10, Josh 4:7, Is 56:5, Zech 6:14, 1 Sam 7:12)! Lord, help us to always remember our "milestones" so that we, like your children in the past, can also say "Thus far the Lord has brought me"!
Praise God that when I look over my list above, these are such AWESOME milestones for me! I had even forgotten some of these until I started writing them down (and there are so many more not written that I must remember). God was showing me, while I was writing, how far He has brought me. Thank you Lord!
These milestones are there for you too. Start looking for them. Start recording them. Remember that "This I call to mind and therefore I have hope and expectation: Because of the LORD's great love and mercy we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness Lord" (Lam 3:22-23)
Don't you want to have hope too? Then, like Jeremiah did, "call to mind" the Lord's mercies and "love notes" He sends to you each day. Write them down. Make a memorial. And then you, too, will be able to look back and say "Praise God! THUS FAR the Lord has brought me!!!"
One interesting thing I have noticed with divorce is that the "milestones" you end up making in your life and your new family are not quite the milestones you pictured when walking down the aisle all dressed in white. When all is "normal", you think of milestones as : Our first date! Our first kiss! Our first anniversary! etc., etc. Of course "normal" milestones with your children would be : The first tooth! His first steps! Her first words! and so on.
Well, with divorce, this all tends to get a bit strange but it can be kind of "fun" when you learn to laugh about it (which, if you are like me, may take a few years!)
Here are some of my own post-divorce "milestones" (and yes, I can even tell you dates and times sadly enough) :
The first decision I made without questioning my own judgment 100 times (a co-dependent after-effect of life involved with an addict, as many of you can unfortunately relate)!
The first time I stood up for myself on the phone with FP and did not let myself be "blamed" for his addiction and poor choices! The first time I slept a full night without Ambien! The first time I wired my own "home theater" system including dvd, digital box, and surround audio set-up by myself! The first time I re-arranged my whole house (and moved a 400 pound antique armoire) with just myself and a girl-friend and NO BOYS! The first friends' wedding I made it through without crying or chickening out beforehand! The first infant baptism I made it through without crying when the pastor talked about the joy of being "a covenant family", The first Mother's Day I made it through without crying, The first "family Holiday" I made it through without crying! The first time I made it over a month without crying! The first time I realized and felt, down to my toes, the Truth and romance of God as my Husband! The first time God freed me from all depression and anxiety about my divorce!
And then...well...I had another milestone today - THE FIRST TIME I HAVE EVER FORGOTTEN TO SHOW UP AT MY COUNSELING APPOINTMENT!!! WOO HOOOOOOOO! Okay, so, this may seem like a very strange "milestone" but it was actually my very wise, Spirit-led counselor who helped me to see it as a milestone. There I was, standing at work, when my cell phone rang and it was my counselor's office. When I answered, the secretary said "We were just wondering if you were close to the office or not..." and it hit me that I had COMPLETELY forgotten that I had a 1:30 appointment! And I NEVER, NEVER forget my counseling appointments! I apologized profusely and got so flustered that I actually hung up on the secretary. A few minutes later, I called back and she was laughing and put me through to my counselor. I apologized about 50 times to my counselor and this wise, Godly woman said "STOP apologizing; I am so happy for you! This is a huge milestone! We need to celebrate!" I was of course very confused for a minute and then she explained: "When we first started meeting (about a couple of years ago), you used to LIVE for these appointments and you structured everything around us getting together. You never would have forgotten an appointment. The fact that you forgot today tells me that you are healthy, doing well, and you don't 'need' me like you used to. That's awesome!" And you know what? She was exactly right! Praise God! When I first started seeing her, I was meeting with her 2 times each week. Then, slowly, we moved to once a week, then once every other week, then once every 3 weeks, and then once a month. And now, as we discussed on the phone today, I am finally heading toward "graduation!" This is part of my "Joy In The Morning" (Ps 30) that God has brought to me! It is all part of the healing, the joy restored, the scales falling off! Thank you Lord that you ARE The Healer, The Restorer, and You ARE The God of Amazing Milestones (Num 10:10, Josh 4:7, Is 56:5, Zech 6:14, 1 Sam 7:12)! Lord, help us to always remember our "milestones" so that we, like your children in the past, can also say "Thus far the Lord has brought me"!
Praise God that when I look over my list above, these are such AWESOME milestones for me! I had even forgotten some of these until I started writing them down (and there are so many more not written that I must remember). God was showing me, while I was writing, how far He has brought me. Thank you Lord!
These milestones are there for you too. Start looking for them. Start recording them. Remember that "This I call to mind and therefore I have hope and expectation: Because of the LORD's great love and mercy we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness Lord" (Lam 3:22-23)
Don't you want to have hope too? Then, like Jeremiah did, "call to mind" the Lord's mercies and "love notes" He sends to you each day. Write them down. Make a memorial. And then you, too, will be able to look back and say "Praise God! THUS FAR the Lord has brought me!!!"
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